The Happy Red Planet
by Literary Eagle
Summary: Humans and Angels cannot coexist. One species must eliminate the other in order to inherit the world... or, you know, they could just find another planet. This is a tale of hope and friendship. It is also a story about a bunch of weird stuff happening on Mars.
1. Death & Rei-birth

This story idea has been persistently lingering in my mind for several years, so I finally decided to write the darn thing. Heh. As always, feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Summary: Humans and Angels cannot coexist. One species must eliminate the other in order to inherit the world… or, you know, they could just find another planet. This is a tale of hope and friendship. It is also a story about a bunch of weird stuff happening on Mars.

Legal disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is the property of Hideaki Anno and Gainax/Khara. However, this story is mine. Please don't sue me, because I'm just writing this for fun. Besides, if you consider how much Evangelion merchandise I've bought, Gainax and Khara already have my money!

The Happy Red Planet - Chapter One: Death & Rei-birth

by Literary Eagle

Rei Ayanami was not having a good day.

To be fair, it had started out well enough. First, she had listened to Commander Ikari's orders. Next, she had followed the aforementioned orders. After that – and here was the most exciting part – she had waited for further orders! In other words, it had been yet another perfect day as the third Rei. But then events had quickly gone downhill… ironically, while she had been moving _uphill_. Up the escalator, that is. That was where she had met the newest Evangelion pilot, Kaworu Nagisa.

The Fifth Child had greeted her with some sort of nonsense about the two of them being the same, and something about Seeds of Life ending up in the same form as the Lilin. In the midst of Nagisa's odd ramblings, Rei had felt a curious _nudging_ sensation deep inside her mind. It hadn't been painful, but it had been dizzying enough that she'd been forced to close her eyes for a moment. When the vertigo had subsided and she'd opened her eyes again, the gray-haired boy had already disappeared.

Since that encounter, she found herself repeatedly frustrated with the locks that had been placed inside her mind, the ones that prevented her from accessing the most precious memories and emotions of her predecessor, the second Rei. This was a Very Bad Thing, because the Commander had ordered her not to question the necessity of those locks. Why was she having such disloyal thoughts all of a sudden? To make matters worse, she also felt as if something strange had awakened within her, and now her senses were expanding. Colors looked brighter, music sounded prettier, and food tasted incredibly delicious. This was an Extremely Bad Thing, because how was she supposed to follow the Commander's orders when everything else was becoming so, well, _interesting_?

This was all Nagisa's fault, she was certain of it. Exactly who was this mysterious boy, and why did he have the same red eyes as her? Also, why was he being followed by a choir singing "Ode to Joy"? Seriously, that was just weird.

She knew that she should tell the Commander about all of this right away. Surely he would know how to fix everything. Then she could go back to following his orders as usual, and her senses would return to regular levels. Colors would be dull again, music would just be insignificant background noise again, and food would taste like cardboard again… oh. "I suppose it can wait until tomorrow," she said to herself.

She wanted to know what waffles tasted like.

* * *

The next day, Rei returned to Nerv headquarters with the intention of telling the Commander what had happened. Yes, that was her primary goal, and absolutely not the idea of going down to the cafeteria to have more of those glorious waffles. Really. But before she could do either, she spotted Nagisa sneaking down a corridor, and decided to spy on him instead. She told herself it was for the purpose of collecting a greater amount of information that she could report to the Commander later. It certainly wasn't because she was reluctant to change back to normal.

Right?

As Rei tailed Nagisa from a safe distance, she noticed that he always kept his hands in his pockets, even while tiptoeing. She also saw that his bizarre choir was still following him. The singers were dressed in hooded gray robes that kept their faces completely hidden, same as yesterday. They were tiptoeing just like Nagisa was, but this attempt at stealth was pretty much useless because they were singing "Ode to Joy" at the top of their lungs again.

Eventually, this peculiar procession arrived at the cage where Evangelion Unit-02 was being kept. "Come on, let's go," said Nagisa, gazing at the red Eva with a smile, "Come with me, Adam's alter ego and servant of the Lilin."

Nagisa then stepped off the umbilical bridge, so that he was standing on nothing but air. In complete defiance of gravity, he began rising rather than falling. Next, the choir also stepped out onto thin air, floating behind him and continuing to sing all the while. That was when Unit-02's eyes lit up, and the Eva began to move even though she did not have an entry plug.

"Nagisa can operate an Evangelion from the outside?" Rei said to herself, watching him depart with the unmanned Unit-02. Throughout the base, alarm sirens began to blare in response to this act of Grand Theft Eva. "He must be the Seventeenth Angel. What should I do? The Commander has not given me any orders yet."

_**Forget about the Commander's orders. What is it that **_**you **_**wish to do, Ayanami? **_

That was Nagisa's voice. Rei looked around, but the Angel, his choir, and the stolen Eva had already vanished into the depths of the shaft leading to Terminal Dogma. "Nagisa?" said Rei, "How is it that I can hear your voice inside my head?"

_**As I said before, you are the same as me. This makes it possible for our minds to connect, as long as we are not too far away from each other. **_

"What do you mean by that? Did you contaminate me?" Rei demanded. She'd heard that the Sixteenth Angel had tried to fuse with her predecessor. Was Nagisa doing that to her now? "I have felt strange ever since our meeting yesterday."

_**I would never contaminate you, Ayanami. I simply revitalized your own power, which has been sleeping deep inside of you. That is why your senses have blossomed since the time we met. It is a sign that your psyche's natural defenses are finally working to undo the many locks that have been forced into your mind. **_

"My own power?" she said. Was there truly such a thing within her? "But why would you wish to awaken it?" Wouldn't an Angel consider it counterproductive to let a member of Nerv have a greater arsenal?

_**I am the Angel of Free Will. How could I stand idly by while your mind is being held prisoner? **_

Was he implying that the Commander was some kind of tyrant? Such impudence! "The Commander is not holding my mind prisoner!" Rei said indignantly, "He merely controls which thoughts and memories I am allowed to… oh."

_**Precisely. By the way, you might want to stop now. You're about to hit your head on the ceiling. **_

Rei let out a startled gasp as she realized that while she had been communicating with Nagisa, her feet had somehow left the ground, and she was indeed flying straight towards the ceiling. _Go back down_, she said internally, hoping that would work. Unfortunately, it worked a little too well, because she began to plummet at breakneck speed, and then broke right through the floor. Tumbling head-over-heels past the storey below, she then crashed through the next floor, and then the next, continuing to descend into the lower levels of headquarters. Thankfully, she was not hurt, for every time she collided with something, her body emitted a force field that looked like a series of concentric orange octagons. An A.T. Field.

_**Ayanami! Are you all right? **_

"I believe so," said Rei, noting with relief that she was beginning to decelerate, "Am I an Angel? Is that what you meant when you said that we are the same?"

_**If you would like to see the full truth, meet me in Terminal Dogma. **_

The mention of Terminal Dogma reminded her that Nagisa was an invader. "I will not do anything to assist you," she warned. Was all this an elaborate attempt to recruit her? Maybe his choir was actually an Angelic army that he was putting together.

_**This is not about helping me. This is about Shinji Ikari. You are the only one who can save him. **_

"The Commander's son? But why would you want me to help him?"

_**He is my friend. I love him. You care for him, too. Don't you remember? **_

"No, I do not," Rei replied. Why did that make her heart feel heavy all of a sudden? Her downward flight slowed to a halt and her feet touched the floor, almost as if her powers could not carry her with that added weight upon her spirit. A quick inspection of her landing spot revealed that she was surrounded by kitschy feline statues, many of them sporting huge grins like the Cheshire Cat. It looked as if she had fallen all the way to Wonderland, but it was far more likely that she was in one of Dr. Akagi's storerooms. That woman's cat obsession was large enough to fill up nine lives and then some.

_**Your memories have not returned? This is worrisome. I do not understand why the unlocking process has not completed yet. **_

"What should I do now?" said Rei. Besides getting away from the gaudy cat sculptures, of course.

_**Nothing will ever change unless you act of your own free will. I ask you again, Rei Ayanami, what is it that **_**you **_**wish to do? **_

Rei knew that she should return to the Commander at once. She was supposed to be faithful to him. She had to follow his orders. It was the entire purpose of her existence.

However, Nagisa had asked her what _she_ wished to do.

It was the first time anyone had asked the third Rei what she wanted.

"Very well, Nagisa," she said, "I will meet you in Terminal Dogma. Please show me the truth."

_**Thank you, Ayanami. Are you able to fly again? **_

Rei attempted to concentrate on flying, but nothing happened. Next she tried dropping a small cat statue onto her foot in the hopes that it would make her A.T. Field reappear, but that did not produce a desirable result either. "It is not working. Also, now my foot hurts."

_**So your powers are still unstable, and your memories are not returning. Those locks must have been stronger than I thought. This is very bad. **_

"Perhaps it would be simpler if I took the express elevator to Terminal Dogma instead?"

_**Er… there's an express elevator? **_

"Well, yes. How do you think non-Angelic persons get down there?"

_**Ah. Yes, I suppose the elevator would suffice. Please hurry, before-**_

Nagisa's voice cut off abruptly, and in her mind's eye Rei briefly saw an image of Evangelion Unit-01 attacking with a Progressive Knife. Was that what Nagisa was seeing right now? Pilot Ikari must be fighting with him, interrupting his focus.

Recognizing the urgency of the situation, Rei ignored the ache in her foot and sprinted into the hallway, dashing past the rest of Dr. Akagi's storerooms. There was the room full of cat plushies, the room of catgirl costumes, the room of naughty catgirl magazines… ah, there was the elevator!

From there, it did not take long for Rei to reach Terminal Dogma. She arrived just in time to witness the hijacked Eva Unit-02 seizing Ikari's Unit-01 by the ankle, giving Nagisa the opportunity to open Heaven's Door. She quickly entered the LCL Plant and ran along a high path that would allow her the best view of the premises, before finally skidding to a halt and looking down. Rei saw that Nagisa was now floating across the lake of LCL, with his choir hovering beside him. His A.T. Field felt so strong that her own began to shine again in response, but it faded away an instant later, leaving her to wonder if the instability of her powers was due to hunger. Perhaps she should have grabbed some waffles before embarking on this caper.

"Adam, our mother," said Nagisa, gazing at the crucified white giant that was the source of the LCL, "Must all who were born of Adam return to Adam? Even at the cost of destroying humanity? No! This is… Lilith? I see, so that's what this is about, Lilin." His tone sounded rather odd, as if he were reciting lines that he had memorized. Nagisa looked up at Rei just then, seeming to expect a reaction from her.

Rei stared blankly at him.

"This is Lilith," Nagisa repeated. He spoke slowly and soothingly, like someone trying to coax a turtle out of its shell.

Rei stared blankly at him.

"This. Is. Lilith," he said again.

Rei stared blankly at him.

Nagisa's eyes widened. "Ayanami, you do not feel a bond with her?"

"No," said Rei, "Should I?" What was he talking about? Did it have something to do with that gibberish he'd said yesterday about Seeds of Life?

Frowning with concentration, Nagisa began to appear slightly alarmed. "Ayanami, I am trying to reconnect to your mind, but I cannot get through. Are any of your powers functional at all? Have you regained any of your memories yet?"

Searching deep within herself, Rei tried desperately to find something, anything. But all she could feel was a gaping hollowness inside, completely empty save for a voice telling her to obey the Commander.

Also, Nagisa's choir singing "Ode to Joy" nonstop was making it difficult to concentrate.

"Nothing is working," said Rei, crestfallen. Had her journey all the way down here been completely pointless? Was she only good at being the Commander's doll and not much else?

"I see," said Nagisa, sighing and bowing his head, "I have failed again. I'm so sorry, Ayanami." He buried his face in his hands, which caused his next sentence to become muffled but Rei could still make out the words "I'm so sorry, Shinji…"

However, what really seized Rei's attention was what she had glimpsed as Nagisa had taken his hands out of his pockets to raise them towards his face. There were scars crisscrossing all over one of his wrists, and the fact that they were visible from where she was standing meant that they must be quite large and numerous. "Nagisa?" she said, "What have you-"

The question went unfinished, for at that moment a battered Unit-02 came crashing through a large wall panel, landing in the shallow end of the LCL lake. The Progressive Knife jammed into the red Eva's cranium made it clear that she had lost the battle. The owner of the Prog Knife, Unit-01, was the next to arrive through the improvised doorway, and her right arm darted forward and grabbed Nagisa with her massive hand.

If the gray-haired boy felt any discomfort being in the Evangelion's tight grip, he did not show it. "Thank you, Shinji," he said serenely, "I wanted you to stop Unit-02. Otherwise, I may have gone on living with her." Then in a quieter but considerably less serene voice he muttered, "The time I was consumed by Unit-Beta was bad enough."

As Rei continued to observe Nagisa and Unit-01 from her vantage point above them, her brow furrowed at the Angel's last statement. What in the world was Unit-Beta?

She was not the only one who was puzzled. "Beta who?" said Ikari's voice from the purple Eva's external speakers, "Kaworu, why are you doing this? I thought we were friends!"

"Of course we are," said Nagisa, giving Unit-01 a reassuring smile so that Ikari could see it. But his expression grew solemn as he added, "However, our time together must draw to a close. Angels and the Lilin cannot coexist. If I continue to live, then you and the rest of humanity will be destroyed. That is why I have to die here."

"What?" said Ikari, his voice quivering, "Kaworu, no! How can I kill my best friend? E-especially… especially after you said that you love me?"

"My friend, that love is the very reason why I am not afraid to die. Because I love you more than life itself," Nagisa said. Indeed, his face had relaxed into the perfect picture of calm acceptance. "If I could end my own existence I would gladly do so, rather than burden you with the task. But I am the vessel of a Seed of Life. I cannot self-terminate. You must lower me into the steel."

_Nagisa speaks the truth_, Rei thought sadly, recognizing the significance of his wrist scars, _He tried to die by his own hand, but was unsuccessful_. If an Evangelion was the one thing powerful enough to kill him, but Unit-00 had already been destroyed and the pilot of Unit-02 was currently in a coma, then Ikari was the sole person who could do it. The fact that they were friends made this a truly lamentable fate. But what was that about lowering Nagisa into steel? They were in the LCL Plant, not a steel mill.

Ikari must have been wondering the same thing, for Unit-01 glanced down at the LCL lake, then looked back up at Nagisa, head tilted to one side in evident confusion. "Um… Kaworu, that's LCL below us," he said, "There is no steel here."

"Oh. Sorry, I've been spending too much time on TV Tropes," Nagisa said sheepishly.

There was an awkward silence. Even the choir stopped singing for a few seconds.

Nagisa cleared his throat. "Now, erase me from this world," he told Ikari, "If you don't, you will be the ones who are erased."

As Rei watched helplessly, she wrung her hands in frustration. What was it that Nagisa had wanted her to do? He'd said that she was the one who could save Ikari, but how? _Please come back_, she said inside her mind, trying to call for her memories and powers to return, _Please, oh please come back. I do not want to be a doll anymore!_ But the prayer went unanswered.

Nagisa looked up at her with a comforting smile, as if to say that he did not blame her for what was about to happen. Turning his gaze back to Unit-01, he said, "Thank you, Shinji. My life was meaningful because of you."

Unit-01 became very still, as Ikari prepared to make the most difficult decision of his life.

Rei's vision grew blurry as her eyes filled with tears. How had her world been turned upside down in such a short time? She had thought that serving the Commander was the sole reason for existence, but then she had received a little taste of freedom, only to have it inexplicably slip away from her. She had thought that Angels were monsters, but Nagisa was sacrificing himself so that Ikari would survive.

Wait. Sacrificing oneself for Ikari? Why did that seem familiar?

Her heart began to beat faster, and an unexpected warmth filled her chest. With a sharp intake of breath, she wrapped her arms around herself in surprise. What was this feeling?

That was when she remembered.

She remembered!

As the second Rei, she had self-destructed her Eva during the battle with the Sixteenth Angel. That was what Ikari had told her, but now she finally recalled exactly why she had done so. It hadn't been about following orders at all. In fact, she had been _defying_ orders. Instead of ejecting from Unit-00, she had chosen to sacrifice herself for Ikari, because she loved him. Just like Nagisa was doing right now.

That revelation about her previous death was the key to her true rebirth, and it singlehandedly undid every lock in her mind. In the blink of an eye, all of her predecessor's memories came flooding back, filling that terrible hollowness that had been inside her. She even understood why those locks had been there. The Commander had been afraid. Yes, he had feared the implications of the second Rei's disobedience, and had wanted to ensure that the third Rei would be completely loyal to the father and not the son.

In those painful moments that Shinji Ikari's heart was breaking, Rei Ayanami suddenly found herself whole again. And she knew that if she did not stop him from killing his best friend this very instant, Ikari would probably die from grief and guilt just a few minutes later.

Or he could become a deranged pervert who would touch himself inappropriately while standing beside Asuka Langley Soryu's hospital bed. It could go either way, really.

"Ikari, wait!" she called out, flying down to land on Unit-01's arm… at least, that had been her intent, but there was still something unsteady about her abilities, and so she wound up missing the Eva completely and landing in the LCL with a loud splash.

"Ayanami?!" Ikari yelped in surprise, "Are you okay? Um… and what are you doing here, anyway?"

Nagisa, still clutched in Unit-01's hand, stared down at her with a baffled look on his face for a moment, before realization seemed to dawn on him. "Ayanami, have you eaten waffles in the past 48 hours?" he asked, "That food temporarily causes an Angel's powers to behave oddly!"

There was a pause from the choir, as several of the singers groaned and shook their heads in chagrin. One of them grumbled, "Why the hell did I sign up for this?"

Rei gaped at Nagisa in disbelief. "My unlocking process was delayed due to the waffles I ate yesterday? Angels can deflect missiles with ease, but they will suffer negative consequences from eating _waffles_?"

"It is not something that Angels discuss very often," he replied, blushing slightly, "After all, it is rather embarrassing. However, waffles are not fatal to an Angel. It just makes one's powers unpredictable."

"Hey, wait a second," said Ikari, "Ayanami is an Angel, too?" His voice did not tremble with fear or carry the sharpness of accusation. He simply sounded curious.

_Ikari does not mind that Nagisa and I are Angels_, Rei thought, _He still cares about us_. That made her feel pleasantly warm inside. Turning towards the giant that Nagisa had called Lilith, she felt even warmer as she finally sensed the connection that the Fifth Child had tried to show her before. All of the boy's words from the previous day now made perfect sense.

"It's all right, Ikari," said Rei, levitating out of the LCL. Her flight path was somewhat wobbly, but this time she successfully managed to land on Unit-01's arm. "My memory has returned."

"Really? That's great!" Ikari exclaimed. In a more subdued manner, he shyly added, "Welcome back, Ayanami. I really missed you."

"I am glad, too" said Nagisa, sighing with relief, "We cut it a little close there, but you made it just in time."

"Yes, and I understand what you were trying to tell me before," Rei told him, "You are a vessel for the soul of Adam, the mother of the Angels. I am the vessel for Lilith, the mother of humanity… or rather, the Lilin. This planet was meant to be Adam's, but then Lilith landed here by accident. We took your planet, even though we were never supposed to be here. I am sorry." She bowed to him in apology, even though it probably looked a little silly since Nagisa was still wrapped in Unit-01's giant purple fingers.

Nagisa shook his head. "Don't be sorry," he said, "If I had not lived among the Lilin, I never would have learned about music. Worse, I never would have met Shinji. How could I ever regret meeting him? As far as I am concerned, the Lilin have earned this planet. Furthermore, you have my deepest thanks, because now you will be able to save Shinji."

"Save him?" said Rei, blinking in confusion, "But I thought I just did."

"Not quite yet, Ayanami," said Nagisa. He bowed his head ruefully. "I need you to kill me, so Shinji won't have to."

"What?" said Rei.

"What?" said Ikari.

"What?" said the choir.

"Ayanami, now that you are aware of your true nature as a Seed of Life, you comprehend better than anyone why this needs to be done," said Nagisa, "The Lilin are your children. With your powers, you will be able to kill me in order to protect them. Also, now that you remember your friendship with Shinji, you'll be able to make him happy. All I want is for him to be happy!"

"Kaworu!" said Ikari, beginning to sob, "I… I…"

Rei did not wait for Ikari to finish. She ran down the length of Unit-01's arm, straight towards Nagisa.

"Yes, that's it!" said Nagisa, eyes shining with gratitude, "You can use your A.T. Field in order to-"

However, it was not Rei's A.T. Field, but her hand that lashed out and delivered a hard slap to his face. "How dare you ask this of me!" she said, "You helped me to regain my freedom, and you clearly have no desire to harm the Lilin. You are not an enemy. I do not wish to kill you any more than Ikari does!"

"Ayanami, you must understand!" Nagisa pleaded, "My Angelic instinct compels me to start Third Impact, in order to reclaim the planet for my species. I cannot fight it forever. Once I lose control, all the Lilin will perish, including Shinji! I would rather die than hurt him!"

"You are already hurting him, right now," Rei said quietly.

A whimper escaped Nagisa's throat as he began to tremble, and he squeezed his eyes shut as tears started to fall. But the teardrops transformed into diamonds and rose petals, because apparently everything Nagisa did had to be strange.

Sitting at the base of Unit-01's thumb, Rei gently patted Nagisa on the head, to express remorse for striking him. "There must be another way," she said, "Please, help me think of something."

Nagisa leaned appreciatively against her touch, but the sadness did not leave his eyes. "I have spent multiple lifetimes trying to 'think of something'," he said, his haunted gaze seeming to observe something far beyond the walls of Terminal Dogma, "This may be difficult for you to believe, but we have all gone through these events, or variations of them, many times over. I have been so determined to make Shinji happy that I've been willing to relive this life again and again, trying to find a way to avert tragedy. But no matter what, the result is always the same: Shinji is forced to kill me, and it breaks him completely."

Rei opened her mouth to reply, but then it occurred to her that she had no idea what to say. They had all gone through multiple lifetimes together, but Nagisa was the only one who remembered? How could such a thing be possible? True, her very existence was proof that a soul and its memories could be transferred to a clone body, but that wasn't the same as restarting an entire life's worth of actions from the very beginning, with complete knowledge of everything that was going to happen. Was Nagisa hinting that reincarnation was real, and that he had the rare gift of being able to retain all memories of his previous lives? Or could it be that he was manipulating time itself, restarting the same life over and over until Ikari found happiness?

Or perhaps they were all characters in a show made by KyoAni, but that was too frightening to contemplate.

If Nagisa was indeed that powerful, then the implications were staggering. She was a being similar to him, so did she also have such capabilities? When she reached her full potential, would she be able to make time flow in whatever direction she wanted, and make sure that the souls of those she cared about would always meet again? For someone who had been the Commander's puppet just a short while ago, it was an astounding thought. However, she never would have had this opportunity if Nagisa had not reawakened her. Lilith should be his rival, but he obviously did not see it that way. In fact, it was because of his compassion for the Lilin that he had chosen to defy his destiny of initiating Third Impact, only to become entangled in another disastrous outcome instead. He was trapped, just as she had once been.

"Please, Ayanami," Nagisa continued, "Just kill me, so Shinji won't have to be the one. It is the only way to end this fate."

"No," she said, rising to her feet and ignoring his bewildered protests, "I do not agree with this conclusion. The Angel of Free Will, a captive of fate? Unacceptable. You liberated me, so now I shall find a way to liberate you."

Ikari sniffled, which was probably not a very comfortable thing to do while immersed in LCL. "A-Ayanami?" he said, "Please, if there's any way you can help Kaworu…" The desperate hope in his voice made her heart ache.

_There must be a way to save them both_, she thought, pacing back and forth along Unit-01's arm as she considered her options, _There must be!_ If she was the vessel of Lilith, then perhaps she was capable of transforming Nagisa into a regular Lilin? Then again, it might be cruel to do that to someone who was so accustomed to having Angelic powers. It would be like slicing a bird's wings off. Was there anything else she could try?

"Ayanami, I appreciate your generosity, but please do not make this any harder on yourself," said Nagisa, "We were never meant to occupy the same planet."

"Wait, that's it!" said Rei.

"Huh?" said Nagisa, Ikari, and the choir.

"If Angels and the Lilin cannot occupy the same planet, then _why are we still trying to occupy the same planet_?", said Rei, walking back to Nagisa, "What if we could send you and Adam to another world? Would it be possible for you to create a new home for the Angels there?" Her enthusiasm dimmed somewhat as she realized what she was asking of him, and she added apologetically, "Granted, it is rather unjust to send you away even though Adam rightfully arrived on Earth first, but the logistics of moving all the Lilin to another world instead would be…"

Nagisa shook his head. "As I said before, you Lilin have earned this planet," he said, smiling contentedly, "If I can populate another world with Angelic life, my instincts will be satisfied, and then Shinji and I would be able to safely see each other again."

"You are most kind," Rei said gratefully, "But where to send you, then? The moon, perhaps? No, it seems unfair to make you leave your planet for a place so much smaller." She did not wish to add insult to injury.

"I do not mind that. However, I fear that Angels living so close to Earth would cause panic among the Lilin," said Nagisa, "I do not wish for anyone to go through further suffering because of the Angels."

Closing her eyes in contemplation, Rei thought about the time when Tokyo-3 had suffered a blackout during the Ninth Angel's attack, and how much Ikari had enjoyed looking up at the stars before power had returned to the city. "Ikari, you seem to enjoy astronomy," she said, opening her eyes to glance up at Unit-01's face, "Do you have a suggestion?"

"Um… well, how about Mars?" said Ikari, "Earth has sent a bunch of unmanned orbiters and rovers there in order to explore it. Maybe Kaworu would be able to use those to stay in touch with us?"

Nagisa nodded in approval, and so did Rei. A long-distance friendship (okay, more like a long, long, _long_-distance friendship) was better than anybody being killed. Especially if it was only a temporary arrangement so Nagisa could set off an Impact in a Lilin-free zone.

"Mars it is, then," said Nagisa, "Thank you, Ayanami and Shinji. This is a wonderful idea."

Rei smiled. "Shall we take a break now?"

Suddenly, Nagisa was no longer being clutched in Unit-01's hand. Instead, he and Rei were seated comfortably on the Eva's outstretched arm, sipping from cans of UCC Coffee. Ikari had left his entry plug and was sitting in between the two of them, also drinking coffee.

"Wait," said Nagisa, "What just happened? Where did these refreshments come from?"

"Every so often, we must do advertisements for UCC Coffee," said Rei, striking a pose with her beverage can as a camera flash lit up the room, "Maintaining the Evangelions is very expensive, so Nerv requires us to do this as a way of generating extra income."

"Yeah, you get used to it after a while," said Ikari, raising his drink and tilting his head to the side with a cute grin. There was another camera flash.

"Ah, I see," said Nagisa, smiling and holding his coffee out towards the flashing camera, as if offering it to the viewer, "Well, this is more fun than Seele's fundraising efforts. They set up a webcam that just showed me floating naked in a tank filled with LCL. They called it 'Tabris-XXX'. I could not understand it. What kind of people would pay money to see me naked?"

Ikari groaned. "Kaworu, give me your cell phone. I'm going to add Child Services to your speed dial."

"Oh, what about your choir, Nagisa?" said Rei, looking at the singing group hovering in the air in front of them, "They have been performing that song all this time. Surely they would like something to drink as well?"

"Thank you for the offer, Ayanami," said Nagisa, "But that is not something they need anymore." He nodded at the choir, and the vocalists fell silent as their hooded gray robes began to ripple like a series of mirages. A few seconds later, these outer garments dissipated completely, revealing the people who had been hidden underneath.

Every single one of them looked like Nagisa.

_Are they clones?_, Rei wondered. But no, a more careful assessment of the sight before her made it clear that they were not exact copies of Nagisa. While their pale skin, red eyes, and wide smiles were all unmistakably his, the texture and color of their hair varied. Whoever they were, most of them were dressed in either plugsuits or the boys' uniform of Tokyo-3 First Municipal Middle School, although there were also a few unique outfits among the crowd.

"Wow…" said Ikari, nearly breathless with amazement, "Kaworu, your fan club has great cosplayers!"

Nagisa chuckled. "They are not cosplayers, Shinji. These are my past lives."

One of the singers drifted a little closer to Unit-01. He wore an unfamiliar school uniform that included a black necktie with a white cross on it. "Referring to us as his past lives is a partial explanation, but he is oversimplifying things quite a bit," he said to Ikari.

A choir member with honey-colored hair and a dark blue sailor outfit was the next to speak. "For now, it will suffice to say that Shinji Ikari and Kaworu Nagisa have befriended each other again and again, over the course of many separate lifetimes. Sometimes they meet in a world quite similar to this one…"

"But other times, it is very different!" said a singer whose plugsuit had been modified to resemble a Power Ranger costume.

"The largest problems emerge whenever Kaworu Nagisa is born as the vessel of Adam," the sailor-suited one continued, "As your Kaworu explained to you, those lifetimes have always ended in heartbreak. Like what happened to me, for instance." From the neck down, his body began to shine with a blinding radiance, and then metamorphosed into an alien-looking Angel's body, with the signature red core becoming visible on his torso. Strange markings also materialized on his face, giving him an even more fearsome appearance.

"Geez!" said the Power Ranger, moving away from his transformed colleague, "How many times do I have to tell you to warn the rest of us before you do that, man! It's creepy!"

The altered singer ignored the comment and went on, "Ayanami and Shinji, your Mars idea is brilliant. I believe you may have found the key to finally end this cycle of tragedy."

"That's really good to hear," Ikari said happily, not showing even the slightest trace of apprehension as he gazed at the Angelic being, "And I don't think you're creepy at all. You're still Kaworu, so I don't care what you look like!" Turning to smile at the Nagisa of his current timeline, he added, "Wow, so it's really true: You and I have known each other for multiple lifetimes. I-I think I understand now, why we became best friends so quickly…" In a shy whisper, he finished, "It must have been because somewhere deep in my heart, I already knew you."

"Awwwww…" said the choir. Then one of singers shouted "Group hug!" and the whole crowd rushed forward to surround Ikari and Nagisa.

"You too, Ayanami!" another vocalist exclaimed, guiding her into the massive hug as well.

The next few minutes were a tangle of warm embraces and welcoming laughter, until a singer cheered, "Hooray for Shinji, our hero!" and the choir hoisted Ikari above their heads.

"Hooray for Ayanami, our other hero!" said a different singer, and Rei found herself lifted over the assembly as well.

Nagisa and his choir then launched into another rendition of "Ode to Joy", as Rei and Ikari were passed from person to person (er… Angel to Angel?) above the singers' heads.

Ikari was blushing as he turned to look at her. "We're crowd surfing," he said, laughing in disbelief, "We're crowd surfing on a sea of Kaworus."

"I guess we are," she said with a smile. She held her hand out to him, and their fingers entwined. It is difficult to know what to say when body surfing atop an Angelic choir, so sometimes holding hands is all you can do.

When the celebration had finished and Rei, Ikari, and Nagisa were safely seated on Unit-01's arm again, one of the choir members floated closer to Ikari. His outfit was similar to Nagisa's, but his hair was bright silver as opposed to Nagisa's lavender-gray. However, what was most noticeable about him was that he had a dead kitten cradled in his arms. Where had that come from?

"Will you hold him?" said the silver-haired vocalist, offering the cat's limp body to Ikari.

"Huh?" said Ikari. He looked around at everyone else for an explanation, but all the other singers remained silent and watched him intently. "Um… okay," he decided, taking the tiny feline out of the other boy's hands.

"Meow?"

"What the-?!" Ikari cried out, nearly losing his balance as the kitten inexplicably opened its eyes and began to breathe again. Rei grabbed Ikari's shoulder on one side while Nagisa grabbed his other shoulder, to prevent him from falling off Unit-01's arm. Not the least bit bothered by this commotion, the kitten simply purred.

"Will you take care of him?" the silver-haired vocalist asked, "Please?"

Rei noticed the way he had held his breath right after asking that. _He seems afraid that Ikari will refuse_, she thought.

Ikari stroked the kitten's white fur, his fingers cautiously tracing the half-starved creature's protruding ribs. "Poor little guy," said Ikari, "I'll do my best."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" said the silver-haired boy, flinging his arms around Ikari and hugging him tightly. "Thank you, thank you…" he kept repeating, until he could no longer form words as he began to sob loudly, with tears streaming down his face. Some of the other singers started to cry too, but the teardrops transformed into butterflies and jellybeans, because apparently _every_ version of Nagisa had to be strange.

"Uh… you're welcome," said Ikari, setting the kitten down on his lap so that he could give the singer a quick hug back, "I guess this kitten must have held some significance for us in a previous life?"

"You have no idea," the singer responded with a self-deprecating smile. Glowing softly, he began to turn transparent, slowly fading away.

Ikari's eyes grew wide. "Where are you going? Come back!"

"Don't be sad, Shinji," the vanishing boy said, "I died a long time ago. But I'm happy now. I'm really, really, happy…"

Then he was gone.

"Oh, don't worry about him," said the singer with the visible Angel core, "That fellow has a thing for dramatic exits, but he'll be all right. He's just returning to our headquarters. You did a very good thing for him, Shinji."

"Speaking of headquarters, we should go back as well," the vocalist with the cross necktie said to the rest of the choir, "This is not our timeline, so we should not overstay our welcome."

"So soon?" said Ikari, his shoulders sagging with disappointment.

"Sorry, we just came here to give your Kaworu a little musical encouragement during his final days," said the choir member with the Power Ranger outfit, "But thanks to you and Ayanami, he's going to live. So cheer up, Shinji!"

"Good luck with the Mars mission," said a singer with three pairs of glowing wings sprouting from his back, "I pray for everyone's happiness."

One by one, the remaining vocalists disappeared, calling out "Goodbye!" or "Good luck!" as they left, with the exception of one who said "_Do svidaniya!_" instead.

"Why was that guy speaking Russian?" asked Ikari.

"It's… a long story," said Nagisa.

When the last of the choir had vanished, the three Eva pilots sat in contemplative silence for several minutes, until Ikari finally broke the spell by saying, "Hey, Kaworu?"

"Yes, Shinji?"

Ikari suddenly grabbed Nagisa by the shirt collar. "Stop dying all the time, damn it!" he shouted right in Nagisa's face, "If you ever try to get yourself killed again, I'm gonna freaking kill you!" After a brief pause, he added in a more subdued voice, "Okay, I just realized that threat didn't make any sense at all."

"It was rather confusing, yes."

Sighing, Ikari put an arm around Nagisa's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Kaworu. It's just… really overwhelming to find out that my best friend has died for me so many times. You have to start looking after yourself too, you know. Otherwise it's… not fair… and stuff." Turning towards Rei, he added, "That goes for you too, Ayanami. Ritsuko destroyed the rest of your clone bodies. There'll be no coming back if you get blown up again. Seriously, you and Kaworu have to quit doing this. I-I'm not worth all this trouble."

"Yes, you are!" Nagisa and Rei said simultaneously.

All three children blushed and stared at the wall.

Rei cleared her throat. "Nagisa will not die," she said resolutely, "I will do whatever I can to ensure that he remains safe until he can go to Mars."

"Thank you, Ayanami," said Nagisa, "You really saved me today."

"You saved the both of us," Ikari added.

There was that warm feeling in her heart again. Rei wondered what she should do about it. Thinking back, she recalled how Toji Suzuhara and Ikari had punched each other before becoming friends. Also, just a moment ago Ikari had threatened to kill Nagisa, and then reaffirmed their friendship. Did this mean that people liked violence as a gesture of camaraderie? It would explain why Vice Commander Fuyutsuki looked like he wanted to punch the Commander half the time. But she did not feel like hitting Ikari or Nagisa.

She decided to try a different tactic. "Ikari? Nagisa?"

"Yes, Ayanami?" said Nagisa.

"Would it be all right if you both… called me Rei?" she asked.

The boys glanced at each other, smiled, and turned back to Rei. "Sure, Rei," said Ikari, "If you'll call us Shinji and Kaworu."

"Thank you, Shinji. Thank you, Kaworu," she said, smiling back at them. Strange, that warm sensation was now filling her from head to toe. But it felt very nice.

"Meow?"

Ikari – no, _Shinji_ – looked down at the kitten in his lap. "That's right. We need to give you a name, don't we?" he said, petting the little feline.

"How about 'Lazarus'?" Kaworu suggested, "It sounds like a fitting name for someone who was restored to life."

"Meow!"

Shinji rubbed the kitten's belly. "He seems to like that idea. Hmm, Lazarus sure is thin, though. I'd better get him something to eat soon." With a sad sigh, he added, "I wish there was also something I could do for Asuka. She's normally so strong, and… and everything that I'm not. Seeing her in that coma is killing me."

"Let's head back up, then," said Kaworu, "I may be able to help her."

"Really? Thanks, Kaworu!" said Shinji, picking up Lazarus and hastily rising to his feet, "Let's go. Misato and the others are probably freaking out wondering what happened to us, anyway."

That was an understatement, Rei knew. Even though Major Katsuragi was a friend, she hated the Angels, so it was going to be a challenge to make her see that Kaworu was not an enemy. However, Major Katsuragi was the least of their worries. From what Rei knew of the Commander's scenario, both he and Seele had plans that would not only require the elimination of all the Angels, but could also lead to catastrophe for the Lilin.

Without a doubt, the Eva pilots still had more difficulties ahead of them. But as Rei looked at Shinji and Kaworu again, she also knew that no matter what, she would help her friends to find happiness. Moreover, Shinji was right; she had to start thinking about her own happiness as well. She could never allow herself to be a puppet again.

Rei Ayanami hoped that today was going to be a good day.

No, that wasn't right.

Rei Ayanami was determined to _make_ it a good day.

TO BE CONTINUED

Next chapter: Asuka makes her triumphant return. Yay! Also, Misato finds out that Kaworu is the vessel of Adam. Uh-oh! Don't miss Chapter 2 of The Happy Red Planet, "Campus Asuka-calypse"! There will be fan service, too!

Author's notes: In the first and second drafts of the script for episode 24 of the Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series, Shinji noticed that there were scars on Kaworu's wrist, but no information was given on where the scars came from. This plot point was not used in the final version of the episode, so it's not canon, but I thought it might be worth exploring in fan fiction. If the scars meant that Kaworu had attempted suicide but then discovered that he could not die from self-inflicted wounds, this would explain why someone else has to kill him in order to prevent Third Impact. Of course we all know how badly Shinji always reacts to doing the deed, which is why Kaworu in this fan fic had the "brilliant" idea of asking Rei to be the executioner instead. Silly Angel, don't you see that Shinji would be devastated about losing you no matter who does the killing? Kaworu is powerful, intelligent, and has a good heart, but there is a lot about the Lilin that he still doesn't know. Then again, one of the themes of Evangelion is that _all_ people hurt each other due to misunderstandings.

As you probably noticed, this fan fiction is set in the original anime continuity, albeit with some time/space shenanigans going on (plus the story will proceed in a very different direction from here, because Kaworu didn't die). However, this chapter also had a number of shout-outs to some other Evangelion continuities, concept art, and merchandise. These references were mainly just for fun, so don't worry if you're not very familiar with the various Eva spinoffs out there. But if you happened to spot them all, then congratulations, you're just as crazy about Evangelion as I am! That's probably not a good thing, but at least I'm not alone in my insanity. Hee hee!

Thank you very much for reading, and feedback would be greatly appreciated. See you next time!

-Literary Eagle, 2013


	2. Campus Asuka-calypse

Welcome to the second chapter! Thanks for following the story so far, and extra special thanks to those of you who took the time to give me feedback. You're all awesome!

Legal disclaimer (to keep my imaginary lawyer happy): I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno and Gainax/Khara.

The Happy Red Planet - Chapter Two: Campus Asuka-calypse

by Literary Eagle

Asuka Langley Soryu was in hell.

As if it hadn't been enough to utterly fail as an Evangelion pilot and have her mind violated by that damn Angel, finding out from Stupid Shinji that Kaji was dead had truly been the final breaking point. With the loss of Kaji, the wretched remnants of her sync rate had completely shattered, along with all her hope. She had run away from home and wandered aimlessly for days, before finally curling up in the bathtub of a ruined house. That was where she had discovered a bathroom mirror that was just as broken as she was, and it had only seemed fitting to use the shards to cut her wrist so she could bleed away into oblivion. Finally, she would no longer have to face this horrible world anymore…

Not.

It had been just her luck that the buffoons in Intelligence Division 2 had chosen that day of all days to finally get a clue and find her before she could completely bleed out. Everything had gone black after that. At some point, she had briefly grasped onto a sliver of consciousness and noticed that she was being kept in a hospital bed, but before long she sank deeper and deeper into the darkness of her mind, hopefully never to see the stupid, stupid world again. Finally, she would have the peace she desired…

Not.

She was now trapped inside her own mind, forced to witness a relentless torrent of hated memories. Seeing her beloved Mama become a workaholic, so busy with the Evangelion project that she scarcely had time for her own child anymore. Then, the day of the contact experiment. Asuka never knew what Mama saw inside the Eva during that test, but whatever it was, it had caused her develop an unhealthy obsession with the perfection of robots and dolls, to the point of no longer wanting her flesh-and-blood daughter. On and on the memories progressed, as unstoppable as they were unbearable. Papa's infidelity. Mama constantly doting on a ragdoll instead of her real child. Mama's suicide.

The unwanted recollections continued, until at last Asuka found herself on a familiar college campus. She breathed a sigh of relief. This campus had been the site of one of her greatest achievements (aside from Eva piloting, of course… no wait, best not to think of that anymore). Here was where she had proved herself to be a child prodigy, graduating from college at such a young age. At least now she could see memories that would make her feel happy and proud…

Not.

To her horror, she could see Mama standing a short distance away, still cradling that repulsive doll. No, no, this was all wrong! Mama had died years before Asuka had gone to college!

Then in another corner of the campus, Asuka spotted Papa in the midst of passionately kissing his former mistress, now Asuka's stepmother.

Feeling sick to her stomach, Asuka tried to back away, but found herself unable to move. Looking down, she soon discovered why: there were strings tied around her limbs. "What the… aaaahhhh!" she cried out in shock, as an invisible force pulled on the strings and hoisted her into the air, leaving her to dangle like a marionette.

"No!" she screamed, thrashing ineffectually, "I'm not a doll! I'm not a puppet!"

There was a sound of eerie giggling, and Asuka gazed down in shock to see an army of ragdolls marching onto the campus. They all had button eyes, just like the one that Mama loved. Some of the giggling little terrors started to scribble all over the school buildings with crayons, while others spread out miniature tea sets and acted like they were having a picnic. The dignified college that had been Asuka's source of pride was being converted into a giant nursery. In the midst of this degrading transformation, Mama obliviously tried to feed pudding to her precious button-eyed bundle, while Papa went on with kissing his second wife as if their faces had fused together.

"Stop it! All of you!" Asuka demanded, fighting without success to free herself from the puppet strings.

Another wave of giggling erupted. "How rude," said one of the dolls, "We just wanted to play with you, Asuka! Now we'll have to punish you for being a bad girl!"

There was an ominous metallic scraping sound, as each of the ragdolls pulled a knife out of thin air and began to laugh sadistically.

"No, wait!" one of them said, "Asuka has been a very, very bad girl. So we need to give her a really special punishment!"

That was when the knives transformed into microphones.

Wait, _microphones_?!

A tune began to play from a large music box that had mysteriously appeared on the campus, as the dolls began to sing, "It's a small world after all…"

"Noooooooooo!" Asuka cried in agony.

Yes, she really was in hell!

* * *

"I hope this works," Shinji whispered to himself. Climbing out of Unit-01's entry plug, he sobbed dramatically as he pretended to collapse under the weight of overwhelming grief, sinking to the floor in a trembling heap.

Misato immediately ran to his side. One of her hands reached out towards him but stopped before making actual contact, wordlessly asking for permission. He nodded, and the look of gratitude he gave her was genuine. His relationship with Misato had become strained ever since the second Rei's death, but after today's close call with Kaworu, he knew that he didn't want to risk losing a friend again.

"I'm so sorry, Shinji," said Misato, helping him up and hugging him tightly, "If only I had known sooner that the Fifth Child was actually an Angel…"

Oh right, time to act sad again. "Why? Why did he have to die?" Shinji wailed, "Kaworu was my best friend, even if he was an Angel! It's not fair!" It was a good thing that he was dripping wet with LCL, so that the little trails of liquid running down his face could easily be mistaken for tears. He felt guilty for deceiving his guardian like this, but Rei was right: Misato hated the Angels, and his father would definitely not be pleased about the Seventeenth Angel's survival either, so their best hope for saving Asuka was to sneak Kaworu into the hospital wing and let him heal her first. There would be time for explanations – or dodging bullets – later.

"You did what you had to, Shinji," said Misato, stroking his LCL-slicked hair, "Thanks to you, the world is safe again."

Out of the corner of his eye, Shinji saw Kaworu emerge from the cover of Unit-01's shadow. Rei was the next to come out from the hiding spot, with Lazarus the kitten safely cradled in her arms. As the two Angels and their feline companion began to sneak away, Shinji knew that it was essential to keep his guardian distracted. "Torrent of ardent pathos," he sobbed loudly, clinging to Misato's red jacket, "Unfamiliar ceiling… mustn't run away…"

It wasn't loud enough, though, because he could clearly hear Lazarus say "Meow!", causing everyone to freeze in their tracks.

Misato gave Shinji an odd look. "Did you just say 'meow'?" she said incredulously.

"Uh… not meow, but _ow_!" Shinji said quickly, hunching over and clutching his ribs in feigned discomfort, "Ow, ow, ow! I got a bit bruised during the fight. Nothing serious, though! I just need some rest." Seeing that Kaworu, Rei, and the tiny kitty had taken advantage of the diversion to escape, he let out a sigh of relief before he could stop himself.

Fortunately, Misato seemed to mistake the sigh for an indicator of fatigue. "Come on, Shinji," she said, putting an arm around his shoulders as she gently guided him out of the Eva cage, "I'll take you home."

Shinji shook his head. "Actually, I'd rather visit Asuka in the hospital."

"All right. We'll go together."

"No! Um, I mean… I'd rather be alone with Asuka for a while," said Shinji, his mind frantically searching for a good excuse, "Because… um… because now that Kaworu's gone, she's all I have left."

"Oh. Very well," said Misato, and the warmth seemed to drain from the whole area as her tone became completely businesslike, "I will see you later, then." Her arm fell away from Shinji's shoulders, and she briskly walked away without another word.

Suppressing a wince, Shinji realized too late that his choice of words had been less than ideal. As if lying to Misato wasn't bad enough, now he'd made it seem like he didn't value her as a friend. Mentally kicking himself for the blunder, he headed towards the locker room so he could change out of his plugsuit. "I'm sorry, Misato," he whispered to the empty corridor, "But I'll make it up to you. We'll get Asuka back, and then we'll be a family again!"

* * *

"Argh, my family sucks!" Asuka exclaimed, as her vantage point gave her a good look at Mama still trying to feed pudding to a doll in one part of the campus, while in another area she could see Papa still making out with his second wife.

As for the singing ragdolls, they had finished with "It's a Small World" and had switched to performing about a hundred different versions of "Fly Me to the Moon". Damn it, just how many remixes of this song were there?

"Enough!" she shouted, trying unsuccessfully once again to break free of the strings that held her in place, "Enough of the Raggedy Ann brigade and the horrible musical numbers, already!"

The dolls became silent, and suddenly Mama was floating in the air right in front of her, staring at Asuka with eyes so feral that they scarcely looked human. "Awwww, no more singing? No more playing?" said Mama, her face nearly splitting in half with an impossibly wide and manic grin, "If you're tired, then… die with me!" One of her hands reached out towards Asuka, the fingers curving like talons.

"Get the hell away from me!" Asuka shrieked. She tugged frantically at the marionette strings, but an unseen force pulled back with greater strength, making the bindings even tighter. This wasn't how she'd wanted to die! Not as a helpless puppet! But there was no way to fight back, and no way to escape. As Mama's clawed hand drew nearer, she screwed her eyes shut and waited for the inevitable. There was nothing she could do but meet her doom… and the sounds of _An die Freude_? Ode to Joy?

Opening her eyes, Asuka saw that instead of Mama, there was now a cell phone floating before her. The device was lavender-gray in color, and had a tiny plush Shinji charm dangling from it. The "Ode to Joy" kept playing, and she realized that it must be the phone's ringtone.

As the song played on and on, Asuka groaned at the knowledge that she wouldn't get any peace unless she did something about it. Struggling against the strings holding her arms, she finally managed to regain just enough mobility to grab the phone and answer it. "Hello?"

In response, she was greeted by a cheerful voice from one of those annoying interactive phone menus. The voice said:

**Welcome to the Final Messenger hotline, courtesy of the TABRIS Network! **

**For piano lessons, press 1. **

**For violin lessons, press 2. **

**For a discussion on how your heart is made of glass and you are therefore worthy of empathy, press 3. **

**To request assistance escaping from a coma-induced nightmare, press 4.**

"What?" said Asuka, glaring at the phone, "Is this some kind of sick joke?" Snarling, she let the mobile device fall to the ground, where it shattered into pieces. But the pieces transformed into little white doves and promptly flew away, because apparently everything around here had to be strange.

However, there were other things that were far worse, which Asuka remembered the hard way when Mama immediately appeared in front of her again, with eyes that looked more wild and insane than ever. "Die with me!" Mama cackled, reaching out towards her.

Asuka screamed and tried to move away, but yet again there wasn't anywhere she could go while bound with the strings.

"Die with me," said Mama, laughing like a demented clown, "Die with me, die with me, die with… urk!" Her eyes widened and her hands went to her own throat, as if she were choking on something. Moments later, a lavender-gray cell phone came out of her mouth, ringing its familiar tune again.

"Ewwww, are you kidding me?" said Asuka, looking at the cell phone sticking out of Mama's mouth.

"Mmfph?" said Mama, blinking dazedly as the phone's music continued to play.

Sighing, Asuka grabbed the phone and pulled it free of Mama's jaws. As soon as she did so, Mama went back to cackling and attempting to grab her. "Oh, give me a break, already!" said Asuka, trying as best she could to keep Mama at bay while answering the phone at the same time.

**To request assistance escaping from a coma-induced nightmare, press 4**, the phone's cheerful voice repeated.

"Okay, okay, fine!" said Asuka, pressing 4.

Quick as lightning (but thankfully without the sizzling part), a gray and white blur descended from the heavens, cutting Asuka loose from the strings and holding her securely as it flew her away from Mama and the dolly campus.

Straining to open her eyes during the high-speed flight, Asuka could make out her rescuer's pale skin and red eyes. The First Child? "Oh no," she said, "Not you! I do _not_ need to be saved by you, of all people!" She tried to struggle out of the First's arms, despite the fact that they were still zipping through the air. "And what's with the clothes?" she added, looking at her fellow pilot's baffling choice of attire, "Why are you wearing the male school uniform? Ewwww, is this Stupid Shinji's outfit? Are you two doing something kinky?" She gave the First a hard shove, and that was when she realized that the girl's chest was a lot flatter than it should be. Where the hell had her boobs gone? "What, did they fall off, you freak?" said Asuka, rubbing her hand back and forth along the First's chest.

Laughter bubbled up from her rescuer. "Soryu, that tickles!"

Okay, that was definitely not the First's voice. In fact, it was a male voice. Looking up at the person's face more carefully this time, Asuka realized that she had been mistaken. Instead of the expected short blue hair, this fellow had fluffy lavender-gray hair, and his wide smile was definitely not characteristic of the First at all. If anything, a more accurate comparison was that he looked as if someone had Photoshopped a smiley face onto a dust bunny.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked.

"I the hell am Kaworu Nagisa," the boy said, seemingly oblivious to the rudeness of Asuka's wording, "Also, I the hell am here to guide you out of this nightmare." His flight slowed to a more leisurely pace, and together they drifted downwards like a giant feather as he hummed _An die Freude_. The instant she heard Nagisa's feet touch the ground, she quickly scrambled out of his arms and backed away from him. Not appearing the least bit offended by the swift disengagement, he casually tucked his hands into his pockets, still smiling at her.

Glancing around, Asuka saw that their surroundings looked like nothing but… well, nothingness. As far she could tell, they were just standing in a huge black void, although presumably there had to be some sort of unseen floor supporting them. Well, anything was better than that warped campus. "Okay, thanks for getting me away from that stupid doll party, but I don't need any more help," she said, hoping that her brave tone would hide her embarrassment at mistaking this guy for the First Child, "This is just fine, so you can leave now."

Nagisa's eyebrows rose slightly. "Really?" he said, "You are truly content with spending the rest of your days in an immeasurable void? It hardly seems like a suitable ending for one of the world's saviors." His gaze swept the area as if he were carefully inspecting the environment, even though of course there was nothing there to inspect. "Still, I suppose the lack of structures and furnishings means you will not have to devote much time to _feng shui_…"

"I don't give a _feng_!" said Asuka, stamping her foot, "Again, thanks for saving me from those damned dolls, but _no thanks_ to any further assistance. I don't need anything else, especially from a stranger!" Especially from a stranger who could fly. "I have no reason to trust you!"

"I am here on behalf of Shinji Ikari," said Nagisa, his voice infused with extra tenderness upon mentioning Shinji's name, "He is very concerned about you, so I came here to guide you back to him."

Asuka's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Stupid Shinji sent you? Really?" She'd never heard him mention a Kaworu Nagisa before. "Why are you helping him?"

"Because I love him," Nagisa replied warmly.

"So… you're gay?"

"I'm very happy, how are you?"

"That's not what I meant, you idiot!" Asuka exclaimed. Was this guy for real? "I'm asking what your relationship is with Stupid Shinji!"

"He is my greatest friend and my greatest joy, so I love him," said Nagisa, not losing his smile despite Asuka's shouting, "And you are an important friend to him, so I love you as well."

"Yay, lucky me," said Asuka, rolling her eyes as she began to walk away from him, "Get lost, weirdo. I am _not_ going back." In a quieter voice, she murmured to herself, "There's nothing for me to go back _to_."

"Ah, are you referring to your diminished synchronization rate?" said Nagisa, who was suddenly standing right in front of her instead of being left behind. How the hell had he done that? "You are no longer able to pilot an Evangelion, and because of that you have decided to give up on life? But why should that be? Just as white light actually contains a multitude of colors, you shine with a myriad of diverse abilities. You are a young genius who has already graduated from college, you speak multiple languages, you play the violin, your midichlorian count is higher than Master Yoda's…"

"My _what_ is higher than Master _Who_?" said Asuka, almost ready to tear her hair out in frustration. Or better yet, tear Nagisa's hair out. "Look, bub, you're not making any sense!"

"All I am saying, Soryu, is that perhaps your status as an Eva pilot should not comprise your entire self-worth. Consider this: once there are no more Angels to fight, what then?"

Why was this clown so intent on wasting her time? "I'm not in the mood for playing 'what if' games! There's no way of knowing when the Angels will stop coming. Hell, maybe they'll never stop!"

Nagisa shook his head. "There will be no more Angels."

"Really? What makes you so damn sure, wise guy?"

"Why, because I am the last Angel, of course!"

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that would explain… wait, _WHAT_?!" With a cry of rage and hatred, Asuka tackled Nagisa to the floor, wrapping her hands around his neck and squeezing as hard as she could.

"Soryu, that tickles!"

* * *

Sitting in a chair beside Asuka's hospital bed, Shinji peered anxiously at the comatose girl's face, hoping to see any change in her condition. Nothing yet. Next, he turned to Kaworu who was seated beside him. The gray-haired boy appeared to be fast asleep, even though Shinji knew there was much more going on than that. "Come back soon, you two," Shinji pleaded, gently squeezing Kaworu's shoulder with one hand while clasping Asuka's distressingly cold fingers in the other hand, "Please, please come back."

"Everything will be all right," Rei's voice sounded from behind him, "Soryu is very strong."

Despite his worries, Shinji turned around to give Rei a grateful smile. After all, they wouldn't have made it this far if she hadn't saved Kaworu. Heck, she was still looking out for them, resolutely standing guard by the door even though it was already locked. Lazarus was better off because of Rei as well, purring in a nearby corner as he enjoyed the softened kitten food that she had found in one of Ritsuko's storerooms. Yes, things would have been much worse if it hadn't been for Rei.

There were so many things that Shinji wanted to tell her. He wanted to apologize for avoiding her after he had found out about the clones. He wanted to say that he knew about her connection to his mother, but that he considered her to be a unique individual and a dear friend, not just Yui Ikari's shadow. And of course, he couldn't express enough how thankful he was that she had figured out a way for Kaworu to survive. With all these thoughts running through his head and feelings coursing through his heart, he had no idea where to begin. But perhaps there was one burning question he could start with. "Um, Rei?" he asked shyly, "What's with the Taser?"

"I promised that I would protect Kaworu until he can leave for Mars," she reminded him, hefting the electroshock weapon as if to emphasize her sincerity.

"Are you sure you're okay with using something like that?" said Shinji. The Taser was much smaller than the guns they used with their Evas, of course, but it still seemed huge compared to Rei's dainty fingers. "It looks dangerous."

"There is no need for concern, Shinji. It was very easy to utilize."

_Was_ very easy? Why had she spoken in the past tense? "Uh, Rei, are you saying that you already used it on someone?"

Rei nodded. "The Commander had somehow deduced that Kaworu did not actually die, so I needed to incapacitate him. He is currently tied up in a supply closet."

"You used a _Taser_ on my father?!" Shinji exclaimed, torn between wanting to run away and wanting to give Rei a big hug, "Uh, are you sure you're not taking this a little too seriously?"

"The circumstances truly _are_ serious, Shinji," said Rei, "The Commander cannot proceed with his scenario unless all the Angels are dead, and the members of Seele have a similar requirement in order to seek out their own goals. Humanity is in great danger, and the best way to avert catastrophe is to ensure that Kaworu stays alive." Her hands trembled slightly, and moisture gathered in her eyes as she glanced down at the weapon in her grasp. "And… I also wish to save the Commander from himself," she added softly.

Shinji was astounded. _Rei still cares about Father? _With a twinge of jealousy that he hurriedly stifled, Shinji remembered that Father had spent more time raising Rei than looking after him. It made sense that Rei's emotions concerning Father would be complicated, even though she didn't want to be his puppet ever again. _She's entitled to her feelings, but after what happened to Toji, I don't give a flying puck about Father anymore,_ Shinji thought bitterly,_ He can go sit on an N__2__ mine, for all I care. Misato, Asuka, Rei, and Kaworu are my real family now._

Having settled those thoughts, the significance of the rest of Rei's words finally rose to the forefront of his mind. Shinji had known that Kaworu could be in danger once Nerv discovered that he was still alive. That was why the Eva pilots had agreed to heal Asuka first, just in case Kaworu was forced to make a quick getaway once the truth got out. But if what Rei said was correct, then the stakes were even higher than Shinji had imagined.

"Oh no," said Shinji, his eyes darting nervously to Kaworu's inert body, "He can't defend himself if his consciousness is inside Asuka's mind. He's vulnerable like this!" Shinji desperately wanted to help Asuka, but he would never forgive himself if his best friend got killed in the process. He didn't want to become the kind of man who treated people as disposable tools like Father did.

"I will protect Kaworu," Rei said firmly, "Besides, hopefully it will not take long for him to contact Soryu and convince her to return to us."

As soon as she had finished saying those words, Kaworu's head and shoulders were abruptly thrown back as if someone had shoved him, and he let out a small grunt before his body went limp again.

"It would appear that he has made contact with Soryu," Rei said, rather unnecessarily.

Shinji groaned. _We are so screwed._

* * *

_Screw this_, Asuka thought, as it became clear that trying to strangle Nagisa wasn't working at all, _If I can't choke him, then I'll rearrange his face with my fists!_ With that, her hands became a furious blur of rapid punches raining down towards Nagisa's head. This effort proved to be equally fruitless, though, for every single one of her strikes was blocked by the telltale concentric orange octagons of an A.T. Field. "Coward," she growled, punching even harder despite the growing pain in her knuckles, "Stop hiding behind that A.T. Field! Fight me properly!"

But the Angel just lay there in silence, still keeping his hands in his pockets as he calmly gazed up at her thwarted attacks.

"Don't mock me!" she screamed.

"It is not my intent to mock you," he said, "If using your fists will allow you to work out your frustrations and help you to feel better, then I am glad to let you do so."

"I won't feel better unless you drop the A.T. Field and make this a real fight!" said Asuka, grabbing his arms and pulling his hands out of his pockets.

If Nagisa's hands had chosen that moment to transform into gigantic scissors like something out of a Tim Burton movie, it would have been less unexpected than what she actually did see: numerous scars covering one of his wrists. There were so many of them all over the small area of skin that it almost appeared as if a frenzied spider's web had been grafted there. "But… how could…" she said, trailing off helplessly as her eyes were inexorably drawn to the scars on her own wrist for comparison. How could an Angel, a monster, have something in common with her? Share her pain? Shaking her head in fierce denial, Asuka compulsively grabbed at Nagisa's marred skin, hoping it was an illusion that she could just peel away, to prove that this all-too-human frailty of his could not be real. But the disfigurement did not vanish, and Asuka could do nothing but gape at him in stunned disbelief. Nagisa was the one with a permanent spider web clinging to him, but she was the one who felt stuck.

The Angel sat up slowly, and very gently wrapped his arms around her. Asuka tried to protest, to call him a pervert, but the words never left her mouth. To her great puzzlement, his touch felt… motherly? Yes, he somehow felt like Mama used to, before she became a workaholic and then a doll-obsessed lunatic. Before everything had gone wrong. How could this be possible? It was totally crazy, yet comforting. Weird, but warm.

"It's okay," he whispered.

No, this couldn't be okay. Why would this oddball remind her so strongly of Mama? It didn't make any sense. Unless… it was a trap! It had to be!

She thought of the horrible bird Angel that had violated her mind, and with a sharp cry she broke away from Nagisa. Trembling with fear and simultaneously despising herself for showing weakness to anyone, let alone an enemy, she tried to get up and run, but she was shaking so badly that her usual grace failed her. She fell back to the floor.

"No," she whimpered, curling into a ball and squeezing her eyes shut so tightly that her face hurt, "No, no, no!"

"I mean you no harm, Soryu."

"Liar! You're an Angel! You're one of _them_! That bird invaded my mind, and now you're here to finish the job, aren't you?"

"Absolutely not," said Nagisa, "That is why I made sure to ask for permission before visiting your mind. Remember?"

Oh, right. That silly cell phone had asked her to press 4 if she wanted assistance.

Asuka sighed. She was so tired. Tired of being defeated, tired of jumping to the wrong conclusions, tired of the humiliation. Tired of everything. "Fine," she mumbled, not bothering to look up at Nagisa, "Thanks for the rescue. But there's nothing else you or anyone can do to help me, so you should just go now."

Something nudged her hand. "Don't you ever give up?" she said, grudgingly opening her eyes so she could glare at… a hedgehog? The little creature retreated nervously from her evident displeasure, puffing into a spiky ball to protect himself from her wrath. Asuka sat up and raised an eyebrow at Nagisa.

"Shinji wanted me to give you a message," he said in response to her unvoiced question.

"A message in the form of a hedgehog?" said Asuka, "Seriously?"

The Angel simply shrugged. "Perhaps it is symbolic?"

"Yeah, symbolic of the fact that I can never meet anybody normal," Asuka complained. But the hedgehog looked so small and so pathetically adorable that she couldn't stay angry with him, even if he had come from Stupid Shinji. Holding her hand out in an inviting gesture, she waited until the tiny animal uncurled from his defensive ball and tentatively nuzzled her fingers. She grinned triumphantly. Naturally, no animal could resist the charms of the great Asuka Langley Soryu. She carefully rubbed his tiny ears, and was pleasantly surprised when he began to purr. "Aww," said Asuka, "He purrs like a kitten. And his eyes glow like car headlights… wait, _WHAT_?!"

Sure enough, the hedgehog's eyes were emitting a bright light. As if that wasn't bizarre enough, the light began to form an image, like from a movie projector. It was a picture of the kitchen from the apartment that Asuka shared with Misato and Shinji. However, she had never seen it looking quite like this before: nearly every available piece of furniture was covered with plates and bowls full of traditional German foods, as if somebody had been practicing the recipes over and over. Asuka's mouth began to water at the sight of REAL FOOD. Sure, the Japanese dishes that Shinji usually cooked were very good, but as far as Asuka was concerned, nothing could compare to German cuisine. So many delicious stews, breads, pot roasts, sausages… "What's this all about?" she asked, blushing as she failed to prevent her stomach from growling.

Nagisa politely pretended he hadn't heard the rumbling sound. Or perhaps he was just too clueless to realize that normal people would find it embarrassing. "That image is what Shinji wanted you to see," he said, "It is one of his memories."

"Did Stupid Shinji make all that food? Enough to fill up the whole kitchen like that?"

The Angel nodded. "He even filled the bathtub with food."

"But why?"

"Because he ran out of room on the balcony."

"That's not what I meant, you idiot!" said Asuka. Obviously, this was a phrase she was going to have to use a lot with this guy. "I'm asking why he made so much food in the first place!"

"Ah. Do you remember what happened before you went into a coma?"

"I… I ran away from home," she said, "I wandered for days, and then I found that bathtub, so I tried to…" she clutched at her scarred wrist.

Nagisa's expression grew solemn. "You vanished not long after Shinji told you that Kaji had died, so he blamed himself for your disappearance," he explained. His tone was gentle and not accusing, but Asuka inwardly cringed anyway. "During the time you were missing, Shinji spent the days searching for you, and the nights practicing German cooking. He wanted to make a special meal for you, to apologize."

"**Now playing recorded message,**" the hedgehog suddenly said in a robotic voice. Then in Shinji's voice, the little animal continued, "Asuka, I'm so sorry for making you sad. When you come back, I'll make all your favorite foods! The biggest feast you've ever seen! Please, Asuka. I'm really, really sorry. I… I miss you…" The hedgehog then switched back to the robotic voice as it said, "**End of recording. If you would like to receive a transcript of the message you just heard, please send your request to TABRIS Project headquarters. Thank you for using the Final Messenger hotline. Have a nice day.**" With that, the spiny creature curled up into a ball once more, but this time he kept shrinking and shrinking until he completely disappeared.

"S-stupid Shinji!" said Asuka, quickly wiping away the damn droplets that had suddenly formed in the corners of her eyes. True, she had run away after finding out that Kaji was dead. But that news had been just one more thing in a long string of disasters. It had never been her intent for Shinji to think that her departure had been all his fault. "Why does he always have to be such an idiot…" Her lower lip began to quiver, and she bit it to make it stop.

"As I said before, Shinji sees you as an important friend. It is you, not your piloting status, that he cares about," Nagisa said, holding his hand out to her, "I can take you back to him. I can take you home."

Home? How could that be a comforting thought, when the city was in ruins and Hikari had moved away? How could that be a comforting thought, when those who remained would be feeling sorry for poor, pathetic Asuka? "Enough!" she shouted, "I don't need anybody's pity! I don't need anybody trying to cheer me up!" _I don't deserve it._ To her surprise, a barbed wire fence suddenly materialized out of the darkness, forming a protective ring around her while Nagisa was left outside. "Hey, what is this?" she said, so taken aback that she momentarily forgot her anger.

Nagisa appeared as nonchalant as ever. "Is it truly that astonishing, considering that we are inside your mind?" he said, "Those puppet strings that bound you before must have prevented you from controlling anything in this dream, but now that you have been cut free of them…"

Controlling the dream? Perfect! Focusing her concentration, she made the tangle of barbed wires thicker and higher, until they formed a solid spiky dome to keep Nagisa out. "Thanks for the helpful hint, sucker," she whispered. If she waited long enough, hopefully he would finally give up and leave. Remaining seated on the floor, she pulled her legs close to her chest so that she could rest her forehead on her knees. She sighed, but it turned into a yawn. Without the hedgehog to distract her, the feelings of deep fatigue settled in once more. If she fell asleep while inside a coma dream, would she fade away forever? As her eyelids grew heavier, she found herself hoping that would be the case…

She was startled out of her drowsy state by an odd _poof_ sound, and she gasped upon realizing that the barbed walls of her shelter had been transformed into cotton candy, just like Mama used to give her in the good old days. "What the… mmf!" she said, as the spun sugar collapsed into a soft and sticky pile right on top of her.

Nagisa pulled her out of the pastel-colored mess, before scooping a handful of the sugary fluff off the floor and proceeding to eat it. "Delicious!" he said, "An edible cloud. How fanciful, to imagine eating a piece of the sky! Such a creative food must be one of the crowning achievements of the Lilin culture."

"Do you think you're funny?" said Asuka, shaking bits of the candy floss out of her hair, "I'm not going back! I hate Stupid Shinji! I hate Misato! I hate the First!" _But I hate myself most of all._ This time she surrounded herself with a wall of fire. The orange and scarlet flames soared high into the air, eager to roast any bothersome Angels who dared to try flying over them.

But it turned out that no flights would be necessary, as a sizable portion of the blaze suddenly dissolved into nothing more than a few wisps of steam. The culprit was a tiny green watering can, floating through the air and extinguishing the flames while Asuka watched in dismay. Strangely, it looked a lot like the watering can she had played with as a child, when helping Mama with gardening. Nagisa also observed the proceedings, casually humming _An die Freude_ as an impossibly huge amount of water continued to pour from the little can. Within minutes, not a single spark of fire remained.

"No!" Asuka shouted, "I don't need Stupid Shinji, or anybody else!" _Yes, I do. But I'm not worth saving. _

An entire fortress sprang up around her, made of thick stone walls without any windows or doors. The massive structure enveloped her in heavy darkness with the finality of a tomb.

"Finally," she said, nearly collapsing from the weariness that began to consume her again.

_Squeak!_

A tiny hole appeared in one of the stone walls.

_Squeak, squeak!_

The hole became larger.

This time, the meddlesome object floating in the air was a toy hammer made of rubber, another beloved plaything from Asuka's childhood. Every time it struck the stone, the silly toy made squeaking noises as it inexplicably caused the fortress to crumble. As the hammer continued its work, Nagisa put his face through one of the holes in the wreckage and said to her, "Here's Johnny!"

Asuka was not impressed. "That's a lame joke, even for you," she said.

"Joke?" said Nagisa, blinking in surprise. "So that is not the proper way to greet someone in this scenario? Alas, another failure. Perhaps video clips on YouTube are no more useful than TV Tropes for learning about Lilin behavior."

Good grief, there was absolutely no way of predicting where conversations with this guy would end up going. At times he would sound reasonably intelligent, even a little poetic, but then the next second he would say something utterly clueless. Asuka's head was starting to ache from all this madness. But judging from the context, she was at least able to guess that _Lilin_ must be the Angel word for _human_. "An Angel watching YouTube videos? Really?" she said.

"Well, at first I tried to study lolcats, but all that taught me was how to make an enormous amount of spelling mistakez… er, mistakes."

The last remnants of the fortress disintegrated into piles of dust, and Asuka found herself wishing that she could disintegrate as well, but by now she knew better than to attempt such a feat. Nagisa would probably just find a way to superglue her back together or something. "Why?" she demanded, "Why do you keep using your freaky Angel powers to break through my defenses? I thought you said that you weren't going to mess around in my mind without permission!"

Nagisa blinked in surprise yet again. "Soryu, you are mistaken. Those were not my powers. They were yours."

"What? _My_ powers?" Yep, this discussion was getting more preposterous by the second.

"We are inside your mind, so we are abiding by your rules," Nagisa stated matter-of-factly. "I have the strength to override that and simply pull you out of the coma right away, but I will not, because nothing will truly change unless you act of your own free will. That is why I asked for permission before entering your mind to fly you away from that doll-filled campus. I will not use my abilities to force you into anything. The crumbling of your defenses has not been because of me, but because of a voice deep down inside you that has been pleading for help."

Did this guy have any idea how absurd he sounded? "There is nothing inside me that's pleading for help!" Asuka sneered.

"You keep trying to forget her. However, she is a part of you, and therefore can never be completely left behind."

Behind? Turning around, Asuka was astounded to see a little girl standing there. Not just any little girl, but herself at an earlier age, crying while clutching a plush monkey.

"If only I had been a better kid, then Mama wouldn't have stopped loving me!" her younger self sobbed. She was speaking to the stuffed toy as if it were her only friend in the world, even as her hands gripped the monkey so tightly that it would have been painful for a real living creature. "Mama would have looked at me, instead of that doll! I wasn't good enough. If only I had been perfect… _Why can't I be perfect?!_" As her voice rose to a near-hysterical shout during the last sentence, she tore the plush toy open, throwing it to the floor as stuffing spilled from its gaping wound.

Asuka shuddered at her young counterpart's dramatic behavior. With her secret weaknesses on display like this, it felt to Asuka as if she herself had been torn open, and now her hidden soft stuffing was exposed for Nagisa to savor like cotton candy.

However, the Angel did not look the least bit gleeful over his statement being proven correct, and despite his frequent bouts of cluelessness it seemed that even he was able to understand her discomfort at having him witness such an unpleasant childhood memory. He respectfully turned away from the little girl and the eviscerated monkey, looking solely and sympathetically at Asuka as that strange motherly feeling radiated from him once again. "How sad, for one heart to bear so much pain alone. You hate yourself, don't you?" he said quietly to her, "That is why you push others away. In a sense, you are not much different from Shinji, although he chooses to hide rather than push. Both of you don't realize just how strong you truly are, and just how beautiful your souls are."

Asuka laughed bitterly. "Strong? No, you said it yourself: I've actually been crying for help." While smothering those cries so thoroughly that even she herself had forgotten about them. And keeping people at bay so that they wouldn't be able to help even if they knew what was wrong. "I'm pathetic. Go on, just say it already."

"Everyone requires help sometimes, even strong people." Nagisa lowered his eyes and trembled slightly. "My own mistake was trying to make Shinji happy all by myself, only to fail over and over. If it had not been for Rei's intervention this morning, tragedy would have struck once again. If anything, Rei and Shinji saved _me_."

So he was on a first name basis with the Commander's doll, too. Exactly how much had Asuka missed? Nagisa kept talking about Shinji as if they had been best friends for ages. "How long have you known Stupid Shinji, anyway?"

"In this lifetime, I met him yesterday."

Yesterday?! _This_ lifetime? "What the f… f-forget about it," she said, deciding it was easier to focus on something that wasn't so crazy. Slowly, as if afraid of startling the little girl, Asuka approached her crying younger self. "It's okay," she said, kneeling in front of the child and hugging her tightly, "Nobody can really be perfect. Only dolls are perfect, and you don't want to be a doll, right? I'm sorry for ignoring you." _Ignoring you like Mama ignored me… ignored us._ "We may be imperfect, but at least we'll be imperfect together!" It seemed unnatural to embrace her vulnerabilities instead of rejecting them, to acknowledge her faults instead of denying them. So why did she feel better, and lighter? It was as if a large weight that had been pressing down on her had finally been lifted, and now she could breathe freely. Could it be that in denying a part of herself, she had been burying herself alive?

The young girl disappeared, but Asuka knew from the tingling in her heart that she wasn't really gone. She was just back where she belonged. Asuka was whole again.

"You truly _are_ worthy of love," Nagisa said with a smile.

"You truly _are_ a pain in the ass," Asuka joked, with a tired but grateful half-smile.

But the Angel simply tilted his head in confusion. "Soryu, I have never met your donkey, let alone caused him any pain."

Asuka's little half-smile broke into a large grin, as she struggled not to laugh. _This must be the one guy on the whole planet who's an even bigger doofus than Stupid Shinji._ "Okay, so what do we do now, genius?"

"Oh, just 'Kaworu' is fine," he said. Asuka wasn't sure if he was kidding, or if he really was unaware of the fact that her use of the word _genius_ had been sarcastic. "As for what we do now…"

A spotlight broke through the darkness, shining down upon a large and familiar red shape.

"My Eva?" said Asuka, "But why? You said that you were the last Angel."

"It is clear that you need proper closure," said Nagisa – okay, _Kaworu_ – as he gestured towards Unit-02, "I am just a guide here. Your Evangelion is far better qualified to let you know that you are loved, and that you do indeed deserve that love."

"That robot? That giant toy?"

"Toy? She is no mere robot. You must open your heart to her."

The First Child had said the same thing. "Not this again," Asuka groaned, "Besides, that's not even the genuine Unit-02, right? This is all just a dream or something inside my mind. It's not like I can really sync with the Eva from here."

"Actually, you can. Unit-02 was born from Adam, so I can establish a temporary link for you through the TABRIS network."

Asuka had no idea what that meant, and she didn't feel like adding to her headache by asking. "Fine, let's get this over with," she sighed, as she walked closer to her Evangelion, "But if it doesn't work, then… _Mein Gott!_" That startled exclamation at the end was because Asuka could now see that Unit-02 looked rather battered in places, and there was even a huge Band-Aid on the Eva's head. A huge Hello Kitty Band-Aid. (Never let it be said that Sanrio ever misses out on a merchandising opportunity.) "What the hell happened?"

Kaworu stared down at his feet, looking rather abashed. "I hijacked the Eva and dueled with Shinji all the way down to Terminal Dogma."

"You did _what_? With _my_ Eva?!"

Looking back up at her, the Angel nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, that's it! Think lots of loving, protective thoughts for your Eva!"

Asuka glowered at him. "If this doesn't work, I am totally kicking your ass. And I don't mean your donkey."

* * *

Except for the low beeping of the hospital equipment that monitored Asuka, the room had been quite silent for the past while. So when a loud knock at the door suddenly shattered the tranquility, Shinji was startled to the point of jumping out of his seat and almost stepping on Lazarus' tail.

Fortunately, he managed to avoid injuring the kitten.

Unfortunately, he landed on a rubber mouse instead, one of the cat toys that they had borrowed from Ritsuko's storerooms. With the efficiency of a banana peel, the toy caused Shinji to slip and fall with a _squeak-aaaahhhh-thud_ worthy of a children's cartoon.

"Ow," he said, grimacing at the troublesome plaything that had caused his surprise visit to the floor, "That felt like dance training with Asuka all over again… except without the embarrassing outfit, thank goodness." _But I would gladly wear those stupid clothes for a whole year if it would bring you back, Asuka_, he thought, glancing worriedly at his comatose friend on the bed.

"Shinji, there is someone at the door," Rei reminded him in a whisper, as she helped him to stand.

Sure enough, they heard another knock. "Shinji? Are you okay in there? I need to talk to you." That was Misato's voice.

"Uh, just a minute!" he said. Shinji and Rei hastily grabbed the still sleeping Kaworu and hid him under Asuka's bed, pulling the sheets down a little to make sure he wasn't visible. Once that was done, Shinji unlocked the door and opened it just wide enough so that he could slip out of the room, immediately closing it again behind him. "Hi, Misato," he said, praying that he didn't sound too nervous.

"I know this day has been rough on you, Shinji," Misato said soothingly, "I just need you to answer one question for me, so I can add it to my report. Is that okay?"

"Oh. Um, sure, that's okay."

"Remind me again… How did the Seventeenth Angel die?"

Shinji did his best to look sad. "I had to crush him in Unit-01's hand."

"Really?" said Misato, crossing her arms. She stared down at Shinji with a gaze so intense that it probably would have melted the Antarctic ice sheet faster than Second Impact. "Well that's interesting, because I checked Unit-01's hands, and there's no blood on either of them. Care to explain this little miracle to me, Shinji?"

_Aw, crap._

* * *

"This is a load of crap," said Asuka, sitting in the entry plug as absolutely nothing happened, "I can't get this damn Eva to move at all!" She glared at Kaworu, who was standing outside Unit-02, but he just smiled up at her without saying anything. Probably just as well, because she didn't want to hear him repeating that nonsense about opening her heart to the Eva. It was so ridiculous. How was she supposed to open her heart to a puppet? That would be as crazy as Mama loving that damn ragdoll instead of her real daughter…

Just thinking about it made Asuka's shoulders slump in defeat. _Even if I know that it's not possible to be truly perfect, I still wish I could have been good enough for Mama somehow_, she thought, _Why did I have to be such a disappointment that she went crazy and decided that taking care of a doll was better than looking after me? I wish Mama hadn't stopped loving me. I... I miss her. I miss her so much! I just wanted her to be proud of me! _

_**But I am proud of you, darling.**_

That was Mama's voice! "W-what the hell?!"

_**Now, Asuka, watch your language.**_

For a split second, the LCL on Asuka's tongue tasted like soap, as if someone were trying to wash her mouth out. No way… could it be? "Mama? You're in here?" Joy ascended in her heart like a sunrise, and her sync rate soared with it. Asuka didn't graduate from college by being stupid, so as the Eva flared to life around her, it took just a few seconds for her mind to reinterpret the facts that her much younger self had misunderstood. It wasn't that Mama's obsession with the big robot had made her decide that perfect robots and perfect dolls were better than imperfect Asuka. It was that Mama's true self had somehow gotten left behind in the big robot! "I get it now," Asuka said triumphantly, as she felt a pair of invisible arms embrace her, "You've been in here all this time! The A.T. Field was your way of protecting me!"

_**That's right, darling. I'm so sorry I wasn't around when you needed me the most. **_

"Are you kidding?" said Asuka, "You're awesome! We've been a team, defending the world together… this is so cool! I can say to other people 'My mother can beat up your mother' and it would be totally true!" She giggled at the thought.

_**Oh, Asuka! I love you! **_

"I love you too, Mama!" she replied, whooping in elation as her thoughts caused Unit-02 to do a little victory dance, twirling around and around until Asuka laughed in dizzy delight. Mama, her _real_ Mama, didn't want her to die. Mama loved her, and Asuka no longer needed to be perfect. She just needed to _be_.

With that giddy, liberating thought parading through her mind, she knew that she didn't want to waste another moment lingering in a coma. She wanted so much to wake up and return to the real world, so she could give her Eva a big hug. Oh, and she had to make sure the Nerv staff would give Unit-02 a topnotch repair job. Only the best for Mama!

"Hey, Special K!" Asuka happily called out to Kaworu through the Eva's external speakers, "I want to go back now!"

With another of his wide smiles, Kaworu began to glow. The light from the Angel expanded, filling the dark void that surrounded him, until the shadows completely melted away and revealed a colossal tree. The immense plant had numerous branches pointing in all directions, and to Asuka's amazement, each branch had a Kaworu standing upon it. The multiple Kaworus didn't all have the same outfit or the same hairstyle, but one thing that they did have in common was… they were applauding her!

"Congratulations!" the Kaworus said.

It was weird.

It was crazy.

But what the hell, it felt great!

The Kaworus glowed brighter and brighter, until the only thing Asuka could see was pure light. And then…

* * *

When Asuka awoke, it instantly became apparent that hugging her Eva would have to wait, because she opened her eyes just in time to see Misato kicking the door down and running into the room with her gun drawn. Shinji immediately followed her, shouting frantically, "No, Misato! Stop!"

"Exactly what the hell…" Asuka began to say.

But she was ignored completely as the First Child, holding a Taser, tried to block Misato's path… which ended up being unnecessary, because Misato tripped on a rubber mouse and fell to the floor with a _squeak-aaaahhhh-thud_. A little white kitten, presumably the owner of the toy rodent, gave an oddly apologetic-sounding meow. Why was there a kitten inside Nerv headquarters?

"Exactly what the hell is…" said Asuka.

But this time she was interrupted by Kaworu's voice coming from somewhere below her, saying, "Unfamiliar ceiling? Oh wait, these are floor tiles!" As he began to crawl out from under her bed, he yawned and murmured groggily, "My goodness, how did I end up down here?"

"Exactly what the hell is going…" Asuka tried to say again.

But Misato just snarled from where she had fallen, grabbing Kaworu and trying to pull him completely away from the shelter of the bed. Since he was partially covered in Asuka's blankets, the tugging motion caused Asuka to tumble out of the bed with a startled shriek, and she scrambled to cover herself when she realized that some perverted idiot had dressed her in nothing more than her school blouse and a pair of panties. Her attempt at modesty wound up dragging along a bunch of hospital equipment that was still attached to her body, adding an IV bag and several other bits of medical junk to the growing tangle of bodies and bed sheets on the floor. Shinji and the First tried to help, but everybody including the kitten became hopelessly ensnared in the ridiculously expanding ball of chaos, rolling around and around as the mess just got bigger. The only ones who didn't seem dismayed were the kitten, who purred like it was a game, and Kaworu, who began humming a tune from Katamari Damacy.

As the rolling bundle of bodies and hospital paraphernalia finally bumped against a wall so that it could move no further, Shinji said, "Asuka! Oh, Asuka! I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Thanks," Asuka replied. She could feel her face heating up, probably because it was terribly hot with everyone wrapped tightly together in the blankets like this. Yeah, that was it. "Um… hey, Stupid Shinji?"

"Y-yes, Asuka?" Shinji stammered, and it was clear that he felt hot as well.

"Do you think you could…"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you think you could get your elbow out of my ear?"

"Oh, right! Sorry!" he said. As he tried to wiggle away from Asuka a bit, he turned to Misato with a beseeching look and said, "See, Misato? Kaworu helped Asuka. He's not an enemy!"

"Meow!" said the kitten, as if voicing his agreement.

"What's with the cat?" Asuka and Misato asked in unison.

"Oh, that's Lazarus," Shinji said, "He died in a past life, but now he's back."

Asuka groaned. "Listen up, everybody, this is what's going to happen: first, we're going to get ourselves untangled and find the rest of my clothes. Next, we're going to get some waffles from the cafeteria because that's the best food they make, and I haven't eaten in goodness knows how long. After that… you are all going to tell me EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

* * *

Once the meals had been obtained and everyone was gathered in Asuka's hospital room again, Misato and the First used duct tape to temporarily repair the door for the sake of privacy. Kaworu tried to help them but Misato warily refused, so the Angel ended up standing to the side and marveling at the tape's adhesive properties, calling it one of the crowning achievements of the Lilin culture.

Meanwhile, Asuka eagerly grabbed her tray of food and settled back onto the bed. Having breakfast in bed (more like a late lunch or early dinner in bed, considering the hour) was less fun when it was in a sterile hospital setting, but she was hungry, damn it. Lazarus used his tiny claws to climb up the bed sheets, purring as he snuggled against Asuka. Aww. The cat had good taste… unlike Kaworu and Shinji, who were dangerously close to ruining her appetite by having a cheesy Best Friends Forever moment.

"Thank you, Kaworu," Shinji was saying, interrupting the Angel's duct tape exploration to give him a hug, "You brought Asuka back, just like you said you would!"

"Anything for you, my friend," said Kaworu, ruffling Shinji's hair affectionately, "You'll come to visit me on Mars, won't you? I will make a garden especially for you, with animals that sing, and flowers of every imaginable color: blue, purple, rueoc…"

Shinji beamed. "I'd love that, Kaworu. Um, but I don't think rueoc is a color that humans… er, Lilin… are able to see."

"Ah. Well then, I shall have to find a way to make it visible to you someday," said Kaworu, "It is a color that looks very delicate, and yet it shines with a beautiful light that reveals its hidden strength. Just like your heart, Shinji."

Asuka rolled her eyes. She should have expected as much from a guy who was so enamored with _An die Freude_, a song about brotherhood and camaraderie, but it was still incredibly sappy. And Shinji was enjoying it! Ugh, where was a barf bag when she needed one? "Hey, Dumb and Dumber, can you two tone it down with the corny friendship stuff?" she grumbled, "I'm trying to eat here!" And she was not jealous. Not at all. Really.

With a blush and a muttered apology, Shinji turned to his own tray of food. In accordance with Asuka's recommendation, he had chosen waffles, as had Misato. The First, on the other hand, had selected a salad. As for Kaworu, he had also skipped the waffles, although for some reason he had still picked up some maple syrup.

The reason why quickly became apparent when Kaworu poured his maple syrup into a glass and began to drink it. Yuck!

"What the hell are you doing, _Dummkopf_?" Asuka laughed.

"Don't be mean to him!" Shinji said indignantly, in one of those rare displays of assertiveness that Asuka secretly wished he'd show more often, "Kaworu's just a little different because he doesn't know everything about being a Lilin. So what? Aren't we all different?"

She knew what Shinji was implying, but to his credit, he did not specify it out loud. Asuka sighed. It was true: when she had first arrived in Japan, the culture shock had been overwhelming at times, plus she had frequently gotten lost because she couldn't understand the kanji on signs. While her exotic looks had garnered a lot of admiration at school, her normally excellent grades had taken a dive because she had trouble reading the test questions. Being acknowledged for her beauty was nice, but she didn't want to be seen as just a pretty doll. No, never a doll! Shinji, the First, and Hikari were the only classmates who hadn't laughed the time she accidentally went into the janitor's closet instead of the art room because she hadn't been able to comprehend the signs. (Granted, the laughter had quickly stopped once Asuka proceeded to beat the living snot out of the worst offenders, but still!) And Shinji was the only one who had apparently gone out of his way to learn German recipes in an attempt to make her feel less homesick.

Yes, Asuka had felt lost upon arriving in Japan. But for someone like Kaworu, did he always feel like that, no matter what country he was in? "Here," she said quietly, passing her maple syrup to him, "You can have mine, too."

"I thank you for your generosity," said Kaworu, happily adding the syrup to his glass. Taking a sip, he added, "Such a delight! Discovering the delectable properties of tree sap must be one of the crowning achievements of the Lilin culture."

"Didn't you just say that duct tape was one of the crowning achievements of the Lilin culture?" Misato pointed out.

"And before that, you said the same thing to me about cotton candy," said Asuka.

"Yesterday, you said that about music," Shinji added.

Kaworu shrugged. "Can I help it that you Lilin do so many wonderful things?" he said, sighing dreamily like a fanboy, "You are capable of such beautiful creations and heartwarming acts of kindness, despite all the hardships and cruelty you encounter. How can I not find that remarkable?"

_Even though he's kind of lost all the time, he still loves humanity more than some actual humans do_, Asuka thought, _He finds joy in everything from music to duct tape, and yet… those wrist scars…_

She was so deep in thought that it caught her by surprise when Shinji suddenly picked up his tray and sat next to her on the bed. Before she could ask Shinji what the heck he was doing, he transferred the strawberries from his fruit cup onto her plate. Wow, so he had even noticed that strawberries were her favorite fruit. "It's the best I can do for now," he said, "But when everything is settled down, I'm going to cook a feast for you, like I promised. You're a good friend, Asuka. I… I'm really happy to have you back."

Asuka could feel her face heating up again. Damn, the air conditioning in this room must be broken.

Misato cleared her throat. "Can we get to some explanations now, please?" she said, tapping her foot in an impatient rhythm.

With that, everyone settled down to eat their meals while Shinji, Kaworu, and the First took turns telling the story. As she listened, Asuka raised her eyebrow at the revelation that the First was also an Angel, and when they got to the part about waffles messing up Angel powers, her eyebrow went so high that she was sure it would leave her face and start scraping the ceiling at any moment. But it did shed some light on why the First looked and acted so weird. A lot like Kaworu, except their personalities were different. Apparently, Angelic dispositions could vary as much as human temperaments. As for some of the other details…

"Whoa, whoa, let me see if I've got this straight," said Asuka, interrupting the story before the craziness swelled to unmanageable proportions, "You're telling me that the First Child's soul is Lilith of the Black Moon, the mother of humanity… or the Lilin, whatever. But you suspect that she has DNA from Yui Ikari, meaning that in addition to being the mother of humanity, she's also Stupid Shinji's sister?!"

"Half-sister," the First said helpfully.

"Whatever," said Asuka, rolling her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "And as for Special K here," she added, nodding at Kaworu, "You're saying that his soul is Adam of the White Moon, the mother of the Angels. So in addition to being the Seventeenth Angel, he's also his own mother?!"

"I'm glad you were able to make sense of all that information so rapidly," Kaworu said cheerfully.

"Make sense?" Asuka chuckled around a mouthful of strawberries, "You're telling me all this wackiness is supposed to make sense?" But at least she finally knew why being held by Kaworu had reminded her of being held by Mama. It was because his soul really was a mama. In fact, now that she was paying attention to it, Asuka realized that the First was also exuding a mama aura. Either her dislike for the strange girl had blinded Asuka to it before, or it was Kaworu's influence that had awakened that part of the First's true nature.

"Well, I heard what I needed to know," said Misato, and Asuka's breath caught in her throat as she realized that their commanding officer had drawn her gun once more. "So," said Misato, pointing the weapon directly at Kaworu, "You're not just any Angel; you're Adam. The one responsible for Second Impact. The one who killed billions of people, including my father! YOU KILLED MY FATHER, YOU PIECE OF SH-"

"-IT ISN'T LIKE THAT, MISATO!" Shinji quickly interrupted. His tray of food fell to the floor with a cascade of breaking dishes and clattering utensils, as he jumped in front of Kaworu and attempted to shield him from Misato's line of fire.

"Move aside, Shinji. _Now._"

"No! If you want to shoot him, you'll have to shoot me first!"

Misato grimaced, but she lowered her gun.

"Calm down," Shinji pleaded, "Kaworu may have been given Adam's soul, but he doesn't have her memories or anything like that. He's just… well, he's just Kaworu. He had no control over how he was created, any more than you have control over the fact that your parents conceived you at the petting zoo!"

Misato turned beet red. "How did you know about that?"

"You talk in your sleep. Loudly."

"For once, I agree with Stupid Shinji," said Asuka, "Look, I know that Special K resembles a mutant dandelion, and he's way too obsessed with _An die Freude_ (although at least he has the sense to admire a German song), and sometimes he talks like he swallowed a magnetic poetry kit. But he helped me to sync with my Eva again, and he got me out of that coma. If he were really a bad Angel, it wouldn't make any sense for him to be _helping_ the Eva pilots." Asuka never dreamed that she would ever speak up in defense of an Angel, but it was thanks to Kaworu that she had been reunited with Mama. She hated owing people, so she was simply repaying the favor now.

Yeah, that was all. She didn't need another friend. And she sure as heck wasn't defending him for Stupid Shinji's sake, either. Right?

"If the Angel helped you, then that just makes him even _more_ suspicious!" Misato argued, "It could be a trick. He might have contaminated you!"

Shaking her head, the First Child took a step forward. However, she did not bother to raise her Taser. "I sense no contamination, Major Katsuragi. Also, I am not cancelling out Kaworu's A.T. Field at the moment. If he truly wished to do harm, he could have easily destroyed your gun and killed you six times before you hit the ground."

Everyone gaped at her.

The First simply shrugged. "It's true, isn't it?"

Shinji seemed rather embarrassed that he had completely forgotten about the A.T. Field, and yet he maintained his protective stance in front of Kaworu anyway, until the Angel finally placed a hand on his friend's shoulder to gently nudge him aside.

"There are no words that can adequately express the guilt and sorrow I feel over all those precious lives that were lost…" Kaworu said to Misato.

Misato's eyes widened slightly as she looked at Kaworu's arm. "So you thought to do this instead?" she demanded, grabbing the Angel's hand off Shinji's shoulder and turning it palm up, so that the scars on his wrist were fully visible.

Asuka flinched, self-consciously hiding her own damaged wrist under the bedcover.

"Trying to take the easy way out," Misato growled, squeezing Kaworu's arm tightly enough to make his fingers spasm, "Just like my father! He was the leader of that accursed expedition that woke up the first Angel. With his knowledge of Adam, who knows how differently the fight against the Angels might have been, if he had survived? How many lives he could have saved? But no, he put _me_ into that escape capsule instead, so he could die as atonement for his role in Second Impact. Redemption through death? What a load of bull. If you really want to help us, then _do something_, damn you! Don't just run away!"

_So that's it,_ Asuka thought, as she realized that Misato's eyes were bright with moisture, _Her hatred of the Angels isn't just about revenge for her father. It's about survivor's guilt._ And from the way Kaworu wasn't using his A.T. Field to break out of Misato's tight grip, he probably thought that he deserved to be yelled at. _Special K said that Stupid Shinji and I both hated ourselves, but it looks like he hates himself, too. I guess it takes one to know one, as the saying goes._

Self-hatred. Was that why Kaworu revered humanity so much? Because he considered himself to be beneath them? This powerful Angel considered himself to be _beneath_ the Lilin?

Holy freaking crap, the only one in the room who didn't have issues was the kitten. Unless he was a catnip addict, or something.

"I'm sorry that we made you upset, Misato," said Shinji, putting his hand on her arm until she finally released Kaworu, "But please, that's enough. Kaworu really has been trying to help, over and over again throughout multiple lifetimes, but it hasn't been easy. And eventually, he runs out of time and has to die before his Angelic instinct forces him to start Third Impact. That's why our best hope is to let Kaworu go to Mars in peace. He's not trying to run away; he's trying to save us all!"

Asuka sighed and rubbed her temples. "Again with this weird stuff about multiple lifetimes, and stuff about Mars? Maybe you guys should explain that part of the story next, before any more wrong conclusions are drawn." She could only handle so many headaches in one day.

With that, Shinji, Kaworu, and the First resumed telling the tale. As it turned out, the most shocking part of the story for Asuka was not the fact that everyone had met before during multiple past lives, with Kaworu being the only one who remembered. No, the part that really made her straighten up and pay rapt attention was the information about the group known as Seele.

"They were the ones who planned for Second Impact to happen, in order to pursue their mad dreams of godhood," said Kaworu, "To make matters worse, they wish to complete their goals by setting off a Third Impact. And they were also the ones who killed Ryoji Kaji, when they decided that he was getting too close to the truth."

Misato's fists were clenched at her sides, and her face had hardened into a look of barely restrained fury. Asuka didn't need a mirror to know that her own features probably looked very similar at that moment.

"Seele and… Commander Ikari… both seek to exploit Adam and Lilith's powers for their own gain," the First added, holding herself with a downcast expression as she mentioned the Commander's name, "The Seeds of Life were essentially meant to be goddesses of creation, not killers. Those who have sought to abuse their potential must be stopped once and for all."

In stark contrast to the First's sad countenance, Shinji wore an angry scowl upon hearing about his father. "These madmen can't fulfill their crazy prophecy unless all the Angels are dead. Did I get that right, Rei?" he asked. Upon receiving her nod of agreement, he continued, "So if we send Kaworu and Adam to Mars, we'll put a stop to their plans while also letting the Angels have a new home. It's the least we can do, considering that Earth was supposed to be the Angels' planet in the first place. And that's pretty much the whole story. Unless you have anything else to add, Kaworu? Uh, Kaworu?"

Everyone stared at the Angel, whose head was tilted limply to one side as if he had fallen asleep standing up. However, his eyes were still open, and his crimson irises were emitting a peculiar glow.

"Kaworu?" Shinji said worriedly, waving his hand in front of Kaworu's face.

"A reboot is required in order for the updates to take effect," Kaworu said in an emotionless tone.

What the hell? "Come on, Special K, snap out of it!" said Asuka, shouting in an effort to hide the fact that she was worried, too. Judging from everyone's perplexed expressions, she was pretty sure that none of them knew how to reboot an Angel brain. Damn, what were they supposed to do now?

Hmm, well if Kaworu's conscious mind was currently in la-la land, then maybe they needed to trigger something that was automatic, like a reflex? But which reflex should… oh, of course! Pushing her meal tray aside, Asuka sprang from the bed and approached Kaworu. "One reboot, coming right up," she said, as she wrapped her hands around his neck and squeezed.

"Asuka!" Shinji cried out in horror, "What are you doing? Stop!"

"Trust me," she replied, not letting go.

A few seconds later, Kaworu burst out laughing. "That tickles!" he exclaimed, as his eyes returned to normal.

Asuka let go of his throat with a self-satisfied smirk, while Shinji just looked about ready to faint.

"What was _that_ all about?" said Misato, looking at Kaworu as if he had just grown a second head.

"An update from the TABRIS network," said Kaworu, his voice reduced to an awed whisper, "After so many incarnations, I can hardly believe it… Thank you, Rei and Shinji. By saving me this morning, it turns out that you've bought us the time that we needed."

"Time for what?" asked the First.

"The TABRIS Project," Kaworu replied, beginning to pace the room excitedly, "Countless Kaworu Nagisas have spent countless lifetimes collecting data for this mission. At long last, we're almost ready. This plan will enable us to thwart Seele once and for all!"

Everyone stared at Kaworu as if he'd just grown three heads.

"Um, Kaworu?" said Shinji, "I thought that sending you and Adam to Mars was going to thwart Seele."

"That is my wish as well, but those men are obsessive and powerful," said Kaworu, "They have managed to outmaneuver many of my past incarnations. What if they find a way to disrupt the Mars mission? Or even if the Mars mission were to succeed, they may decide to harm you all, out of petty revenge. No, I would feel much better knowing that measures were in place to help you before I leave. With the TABRIS Project so near completion, it could actually be possible. It shall be my parting gift to you, Shinji: arming the Lilin with the greatest weapon to battle Seele's reign of terror and despair."

Asuka leaned in closer. "What weapon is that?"

"Hope." said Kaworu with a mysterious smile.

Misato hmm'd thoughtfully, her lips thinning into a worried line. "You're forgetting something here," she told Kaworu, "Most of Nerv thinks you're dead, remember? That means Seele thinks so, too. You said this TABRIS Project is only _near_ completion. How much time do we have before Seele tries to fulfill their prophecy? Is it enough time to finish this Project of yours?"

Kaworu turned several shades paler, giving his already light complexion a translucency that made him appear fragile. "If that is the case, they will probably strike tomorrow. I should be able to finish sometime tomorrow as well, but… most likely it will be necessary to stall Seele's forces in order for me to do so."

"I'll help you, Kaworu!" said Shinji, putting a protective arm around his friend, "No way am I letting you deal with Seele alone, not when you're finally so close to finding your own happiness for once."

"I will assist you as well," said the First, "I promised that I would keep you safe until you could go to Mars."

Misato gazed silently at Kaworu for several moments, her eyes briefly flicking to his wrist before looking up to meet his face again. "If this will allow us to protect humanity, and to stick it to those bastards who killed Kaji, then count me in," she said at last.

"Count me in, too," said Asuka, picking up Lazarus and stroking his fur so he wouldn't feel left out. Those Seele creeps had set off Second Impact on purpose, killing heaven knew how many people, and they still wanted to kill everyone else? Not on her watch! _And they killed Kaji!_

If she had to chase those evil men to the ends of the Earth in her Eva, then so be it. _Looks like we're not done yet, Mama. We'll teach them not to mess with humanity!_ Yes, she was going to fight for all the children who had lost their parents, and all the parents who had lost their children. She was going to do this for all the mamas, and papas, and children who were still trying to live on this planet, who deserved that chance to endure. She was gonna beat those Seele guys so hard, their freaking past lives would feel it!

Asuka Langley Soryu was going to give them hell.

TO BE CONTINUED

Next chapter: The secret of the TABRIS Project is revealed, but Seele is not willing to go down without a fight. However, the real danger may come from Gendo Ikari! Can Shinji help Kaworu, or will their friendship end in tragedy once again? Don't miss Chapter 3 of The Happy Red Planet, "The Shinji Ikari Collective Diary"! There will be fan service, too!

Author's notes: If you're wondering why this chapter had a reference to midichlorians, take a look at Volume 6 of the Neon Genesis Evangelion manga by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. During the part when Misato finds out that Toji is the Fourth Child, his profile is shown, and it includes a midichlorian count! I guess Eva pilots are Force-sensitive. Heh. Even though this fan fic is based on the original anime continuity and not the manga, I just couldn't resist sneaking in a little joke about it.

Special thanks go to my beta readers, AleeN and Laryna6. And of course, I'm thankful to all of you for reading this story! Feedback would be greatly appreciated, and I hope to see you again next time!

-Literary Eagle, 2013


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